marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
keskiviikkona, marraskuuta 29, 2006
oh shut up already
i really hate it when someone words the things they wish to express in a manner such that no one can understand what you're talking about.
i don't profess to be an expert in communication or in the english language or any language for that matter. but i have a few rules to the way i communicate, since i believe in effective communication or none at all. i'll share!
1. remember who you are communicating with. some things you say to your friend might make them roar and roll on the floor, but try saying the same thing to your mom. she'd roar and then slap you for being so impertinent. and its not just family i'm talking about. the person you communicate with needs to understand what you're saying so if you're talking to the ah pek at the coffee shop who rarely speaks english (i would recommend don't attempt the english at all, unless you're like me and have no choice) about something that is confusing, don't use the word convoluted. cos you're being just that.
2. its good and fine to have fillers when you speak but its another thing to have fillers when you type. i know of a certain teacher who says ok repeatedly in mjc. and you know when you're surprised somehow you can't seem to say anything else besides oh my God. but please, when you're writing something, be it an email or a love letter, don't keep repeating certain words and phrases. granted, it is your style, but it also shows your abysmal vocabulary. the precise beauty about writing something as opposed to speaking, is that you have a good deal more time to choose your words and make sure they are appropriate and interesting. if you rush that, then you risk your ability to remain non-irritating.
3. only rush writing when you have written 13 pages worth of words for an essay and have 5 minutes left to squeeze in 2-3 points in an examination. i'm sure if you repeat a few words it wouldn't be so bad. otherwise, don't rush when you're writing. its not that great, trust me.
4. profanities aren't meant to be peppered everywhere. they are good for making a point, they are good for comedies, and they occur when you are overwhelmed with emotion. but they are not, and i repeat, they are NOT meant to be used like punctuation. the tasteful use of the f-rench word in a poem is fine, but not if its used as the comma at the end of each stanza. and they aren't good with parents or grandparents. they spell d-i-s-r-e-s-p-e-c-t. besides, there are always other ways to show you are angry and fed up and not end up showcasing your lack of vocabulary. develop a sharp tongue and be sarcastic, and show you're smart as well as pissed. or you could use a super high tone of voice that is superbly irritating and usually succeeds in angering the other party more than you. which is the point in any argument, if you're like me.
5. if you don't know what a word means, then don't use it. ask someone from my class who used the word epileptic in the place of epistolary. very BIG difference. or my mother who claimed that enigma had the same meaning as stigmata. haha.
6. if you don't know how to pronounce a word or something on the menu. don't try. just point. you'd look a lot less like a dimwit and the waiter or whoever's serving you will get the point. if you really want to try, then ask how do you pronounce it. don't be dumb and have a whole line of delifrance patrons laugh at you for pronouncing quiche as "kui-CH-e".
7. don't string many difficult words together. you are being difficult. seriously. unless you really think it will impress your date. hey, i wouldn't know would i? its your date, not mine, so you deal with the rejection. but for every other situation, its best to keep it simple. again, it depends on who you are talking to, but mostly during informal situations, taking cues from your buddies or companions is always better than launching into a conversation that no one will understand in the first place.
8. if you aren't that good with language, don't string all the difficult words you know (limited as the number may be) together. you'd sound ridiculous, and its likely that it'll not just become overkill, but you'd make no sense. and people would laugh at you. and we all know we never like to be laughed at, we like to be laughing with.
9. if you're outside and dealing with shopkeepers and the general public, use the P's & Q's. please. it makes you sound so much nicer and you get better service or a big sincere smile. i'm serious. especially if you are grammatically sound and don't use pidgin english. then they'd think you are a foreigner, which usually works to your advantage. and a smile never fails to charm them either, so throw one of those in.
10. if you aren't going to talk to someone, avoid them. because you're not gonna make any sense if you're intent on not talking to them nicely. and you WILL blurt out things that won't help you much at all, if you dislike those said people intensely. so just talk to people you know, love, respect and like. or all of the above.
and that's how i choose to communicate. that off my chest, i'm going to east coast. yay!
11/29/2006 03:51:00 ip.