I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, syyskuuta 25, 2006
the whims of a system
yet again, technology has failed me and as a result, i'm forced to blog from school. what happened was, after weeks of crankiness, my dad installed a security system that somehow disallows me access to any account that requires signing into. and therefore have 25 emails sitting unopened in my email account ( my brother, the last time i saw, had 114 and counting) and i can't even indulge in (for it is an indulgence) a little blogging which i think is sorta necessart for my survival. and because of this, i do think that i have contradicted myself in the last sentence. bleah.
so the fasting month begins and the usual festive mood is in the air, because fasting is very much a celebration. and the usual twinkle lights are up in the neighbourhood. a recent addition to the block of flats opposite ours involves a caucasian family with 3 tall girls and 1 tall mother. and no, i don't know them, i've only seen their silhouettes through their window, from which it was possible to determine the abovementioned facts. this sounds remotely sherlock-ish haha.
so anyways, i'm very fed up that i can't blog at home. and i'm nervous because the A's are coming.
the prelims were interesting, to say the least. many things i didn't expect as usual, came to sneak up from behind and scare the living daylights out of me. and as usual, all the topics that i chose to study did not even make an appearance for this examination. also, i've managed to become the most ignorant and dumb girl on the planet, because, get this, i FORGOT that there was a GP paper, and by the time it came to my attention, i found, that i would only get potentially half of the marks that i could because i couldn't sit for the first paper. its not because i didn't mark it out on my calender, nor did i forget to check the exam timetable, and i didn't fail either to paste the timetable up on my fridge for the whole world to see. that said, i do suspect there is a reason, but i will not reveal it because as much as people say blogs are meant to be super revealing, at times they will just cease to function in that manner. this is one instance.
funny things happened, school started, back ached, the usual. but well, nothing much has happened. sadly. its sad that my life has been reduced to nothing but a shadow of a life, a faint echo of what it could be, and if i may say so myself a mere existance. but that can't be helped, and i'm sort of settled in this state of existing, and so i will not be jolted out of it until it is necessary, pathetic as it may seem.
so there i finish my post and won't talk abt it anymore. a think a long hiatus is in order, so the people or ghosts reading, whoever you are, don't expect much from this space this year. at least not until after the a levels have been finished.
good luck people, and study hard.
marlz
9/25/2006 04:23:00 ap.