I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
perjantaina, syyskuuta 01, 2006
all over again
a shoutout to my darling evelyn sim who NEVER fails to come through for me. i love you.
despite it, i still am not feeling too great these past few days. maybe i should just die. it'll be a perfect solution.
i feel the same as i did some years back, though i have loads more sense now. family aint makin it any easier though. and prelims round the corner make it a double whammy.
that day i dreamt of band i realised how much i miss band. particularly mjcsb, and all the lovely folks i met there. teasing vincent and purposely doing the opposite of what he tells me to do. trying to support the clarinets in sectionals and praying fabian comes on time/comes at all so i won't have an uphill task supporting all the woodwinds. calling huikoon froggy and felicia auntie. having fun with WEIJIE who is my long lost brother who never fails to go to the toilet with me. refusing to take pictures haha. talking to cherri and baya during breaks. bus rides home with the trumpet twins.
and all the things we did! like the competition at genting where we sang our parts. laughing like nobody's business. going for syf at the national stadium with baya. and before the seniors left, having fun with the drunkard at camp. screaming like hell during this year's camp. sitting next to fabian who is darn irritating but fun during practice. living in fear of ms sia haha. everything everything everything.
yet i must make a conscious effort to wrench myself away from band and pretend it isn't there. as much as i want to go to nagoya, and to go back for band prac and go for alumni, i can't. because you know what. if i don't wrench myself away now, i'll have problems doing it at the end of this year because i'm leaving.
and then there's the issue of not touching a clarinet for what could possibly be the rest of my life. its hard to have reached somewhere and loved it and lived it and then have to drop everything and run away.
i'm a lousy senior. geez. but i wish all the juniors all the best. its the only thing that i can do i guess.
marlz
9/01/2006 05:11:00 ap.