marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, syyskuuta 25, 2006
the whims of a system
yet again, technology has failed me and as a result, i'm forced to blog from school. what happened was, after weeks of crankiness, my dad installed a security system that somehow disallows me access to any account that requires signing into. and therefore have 25 emails sitting unopened in my email account ( my brother, the last time i saw, had 114 and counting) and i can't even indulge in (for it is an indulgence) a little blogging which i think is sorta necessart for my survival. and because of this, i do think that i have contradicted myself in the last sentence. bleah.
so the fasting month begins and the usual festive mood is in the air, because fasting is very much a celebration. and the usual twinkle lights are up in the neighbourhood. a recent addition to the block of flats opposite ours involves a caucasian family with 3 tall girls and 1 tall mother. and no, i don't know them, i've only seen their silhouettes through their window, from which it was possible to determine the abovementioned facts. this sounds remotely sherlock-ish haha.
so anyways, i'm very fed up that i can't blog at home. and i'm nervous because the A's are coming.
the prelims were interesting, to say the least. many things i didn't expect as usual, came to sneak up from behind and scare the living daylights out of me. and as usual, all the topics that i chose to study did not even make an appearance for this examination. also, i've managed to become the most ignorant and dumb girl on the planet, because, get this, i FORGOT that there was a GP paper, and by the time it came to my attention, i found, that i would only get potentially half of the marks that i could because i couldn't sit for the first paper. its not because i didn't mark it out on my calender, nor did i forget to check the exam timetable, and i didn't fail either to paste the timetable up on my fridge for the whole world to see. that said, i do suspect there is a reason, but i will not reveal it because as much as people say blogs are meant to be super revealing, at times they will just cease to function in that manner. this is one instance.
funny things happened, school started, back ached, the usual. but well, nothing much has happened. sadly. its sad that my life has been reduced to nothing but a shadow of a life, a faint echo of what it could be, and if i may say so myself a mere existance. but that can't be helped, and i'm sort of settled in this state of existing, and so i will not be jolted out of it until it is necessary, pathetic as it may seem.
so there i finish my post and won't talk abt it anymore. a think a long hiatus is in order, so the people or ghosts reading, whoever you are, don't expect much from this space this year. at least not until after the a levels have been finished.
good luck people, and study hard.
marlz
9/25/2006 04:23:00 ap.
perjantaina, syyskuuta 01, 2006
all over again
a shoutout to my darling evelyn sim who NEVER fails to come through for me. i love you.
despite it, i still am not feeling too great these past few days. maybe i should just die. it'll be a perfect solution.
i feel the same as i did some years back, though i have loads more sense now. family aint makin it any easier though. and prelims round the corner make it a double whammy.
that day i dreamt of band i realised how much i miss band. particularly mjcsb, and all the lovely folks i met there. teasing vincent and purposely doing the opposite of what he tells me to do. trying to support the clarinets in sectionals and praying fabian comes on time/comes at all so i won't have an uphill task supporting all the woodwinds. calling huikoon froggy and felicia auntie. having fun with WEIJIE who is my long lost brother who never fails to go to the toilet with me. refusing to take pictures haha. talking to cherri and baya during breaks. bus rides home with the trumpet twins.
and all the things we did! like the competition at genting where we sang our parts. laughing like nobody's business. going for syf at the national stadium with baya. and before the seniors left, having fun with the drunkard at camp. screaming like hell during this year's camp. sitting next to fabian who is darn irritating but fun during practice. living in fear of ms sia haha. everything everything everything.
yet i must make a conscious effort to wrench myself away from band and pretend it isn't there. as much as i want to go to nagoya, and to go back for band prac and go for alumni, i can't. because you know what. if i don't wrench myself away now, i'll have problems doing it at the end of this year because i'm leaving.
and then there's the issue of not touching a clarinet for what could possibly be the rest of my life. its hard to have reached somewhere and loved it and lived it and then have to drop everything and run away.
i'm a lousy senior. geez. but i wish all the juniors all the best. its the only thing that i can do i guess.
marlz
9/01/2006 05:11:00 ap.