I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
perjantaina, heinäkuuta 28, 2006
bursting with thought
i feel today like i'm bursting with thought and have no choice but to blog.
i realized last tuesday that i really like being at erudite sessions because i get to learn abt people and genres and movements that are all so interesting, and oh, the variety! the bad thing is that everytime, i will come back feeling dissatisfied because i feel like i'm only seeing the tip of the iceberg, and i've not seen as many things that there is to see. i feel almost greedy for information.
i've also found out that i don't study literature anymore for the reason that i thought i wanted to when i first decided to study it in mjc. i used to think that i would study it because its a good practice of language and appreciation skills. of close study. and it reminded me of my o level music days cos we did similar stuff, close study for one piece. then a sort of "unseen" and also theory.
today, i realize i study lit and take it seriously because there is such a wealth of information out there to learn, and it is worth learning. there are so many books that i want to read, so many things i want to see, so many eccentric people that i want to know about. and it is through lit that i find the world is such a sad place. it is like the world is a massive collision of ideas, where there is no solution to any disagreements.
the way i see it, people who are creative do things in two ways : they either follow the rules and put their own spin on it, or they totally break the rules (of which i prefer the latter). and i like mixing with my lit classmates because all of them have a sense of humour. maybe it might not always be a type of humour i appreciate very much, but the things said in lit lectures and tutorials and during erudite cell are often very funny and never fail to make me smile.
my eyes are still closed to the ways of the world. i wish i was a national geographic journalist because i can write and see the world. all the nice and not so nice there is to see. maybe then i'll be a little happier and satistfied.
or maybe i'm just bored with my life already
marlz
7/28/2006 12:09:00 ip.