I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
keskiviikkona, kesäkuuta 07, 2006
taste of what's to come
the beach cycling today was heavenly. at the other end of the beach stretch, where there's nothing to disturb my thoughts and i'm alone. nothing but me, the sand, the surge, good music, the divine smell of trees and milky white sand at my toes. ok technically not at my toes cos i was cycling. but the tall trees and the pretty cornflower blue sky was to die for.
i got tanned. i particularly like that stretch cos there is no usual beach crowd to entrap me in their throngs (which happens to entail pasty looking bodies, ugly tattoos, sandy butts and slippers, body odour and wet t-shirts). the trees are really tall and pretty. the sea sounds more mournful there (i couldn't find a better word, so don't ask) and i can sing and talk to myself without fearing embarassment =) and the smell! it reminds me of the löyly in the sauna.
hah. i was looking through my archives and i realize that i hardly ever blogged about the sauna when i was finland. weird. maybe i just was to conked out after each session to care. i have an obsession with the sauna experience. i don't think there's any place else where you'd be willing to strip down to nothingness with other people, step into a room which is heated to 80 degrees Centigrade or more, and sweat it out. its the closest i've come to heaven on earth. no towels or underwear allowed in there, its your birthday suit and you. anyways, the feeling after that is awesome. the heat is mild, the smell delicious and the silence sacred. then you step out for a little shower in icy cold water (as in really ice ice ice cold. my grandma used to step out into the snow and roll around in it as a kid, somewhat the equivalent of the shower) and back into the heat and humidity for a bit more. repeat. then go out, get a nice scrub on the back from whoever was in there with you. then its up to your room to enjoy a nice cold drink and the soundest sleep you could ever have. if that isn't relaxing then i don't know what is.
so the beach was wonderful =)
i must study hard i must study hard so that i can make it to uni in helsinki with no glitches. the better the marks, the easier the entry. then i can visit one of the nicest places on earth. the sibelius monument.


too bad we went in winter on my last day, and not in summer when its alive and in full splendour. nevermind. next time, i'm going when the blossoms are nodding in the wind, and the place is alive with green. muahahahaha.
my pesky brother refused to wait for me when cycling back home. he even sped up so that i couldn't catch up. hrmph. at least i had a nice time cycling at my own pace. sometimes i can't stand his ever growing male ego. haha
marlz
6/07/2006 02:07:00 ip.