marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
lauantaina, kesäkuuta 17, 2006
Meditation XVII
John Donne once made the ever popular sermon that stated "
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind..."no one is isolated, we're all connected. i've heard it all before.
and i feel very inclined to disagree.
besides twins, or triplets or quadruplets, each one of us is born alone. we are formed alone in our mother's womb.
and i think this continues through life. so we're interconnected you say. you say, we have friends. but are friends there when you are at your lowest? and if they are, do they truly know what you feel, what you think?
you are alone in your head aren't you? you alone make decisions about your life. you alone feel what you feel. unless you are a schizo, your internal voice is alone. and people who are manipulated? well, they made the decision to allow themselves to be manipulated. they made the decision to allow someone else to step in and make them do something. you make the decision to study. you make the decision to slack. you make the decision to follow the footsteps of your mother. its is YOU and no one else. and if you didn't like it, you'd become a rebel, because YOU decided that you've had enough.
you're alone when you die. besides people who choose to die together through unnatural means, no one dies together. so someone will die the same instant that you do, through natural causes, somewhere in the world. but when you die, it is your soul that leaves your body. not your soul that leaves hand in hand with someone elses. you alone know that you are dying. you hold on to the last breath alone.
i wonder whether thats what introverts like me think of. we know we have ourselves, and thus we take time to reflect on ourselves. it doesn't mean introverts are selfish, just that they are more aware of the self. that they have themselves to depend on, that through life, you are your own best friend, your own harshest critic, and your own enemy.
introverts know we are alone. that we need to be independant, that we need to stand on our own feet, that we alone know ourselves best, our talents and feelings best, and we know the intensity of our own joys and fears best. we know that it is the self that we are going to be with throughout our lives.
its like madness you know. only the mad person knows what they are thinking about at any one time. no one would know unless the mad person tells them. its like those who can't express themselves, like the catos and the mentally retarded, and the autistic. no one truly knows what is running through their heads, except for them.
we are alone in life. i face that and i know. and i know that if there was one being who is with me through life, it is God. there is no one but God and myself.
i might depend on someone now, and might not be alone in the physical sense, but i am alone in every other sense. emotionally and mentally i am alone.
and thus i do not agree with John Donne. i'm not trying to be any paul simon here, and proclaim that i am a rock. but i am saying that every man IS an island, even if we are dependant on each other and interconnected.
John Donne is still a good poet though. (
edit: i think i just made the hugest understatement of the year by saying that. oh crap)
marlz
6/17/2006 06:34:00 ap.