I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
perjantaina, toukokuuta 19, 2006
JDV II
its finally over. not superbly fantastic playing on my part (in fact, hardly that) but a good performance as a band!
i was very nervous, and i felt like puking, so didn't eat. and i was in a frumpy and fidgety mood because i was nervous. james gave me a reassuring arm around the shoulder which calmed me a little but not much (it was sweet anyway). after all, it is my first and last full concert in a band. therefore its my first and last chance to get it right.
i'm aching everywhere and in everyway possible, yet i somehow feel very high. it was fun seeing euodia and jeremy (though i don't know him that well) being emcees and it was nice hearing that they thought we sounded good. thanks for the encouragement at the interval!
it was even better seeing darling wenqi. she gave me a nice rose. the first flower of the night. and a big hug. and she felt nervous for us! i was fidgeting and fidgeting and fidgeting, and she smoothed away my frown. thanks for being there and helping out.
the section tried to get me into pictures (as usual) and i absolutely refused to take a picture at all. heh. feel very bad that i was a spoilsport but i really detest photos. its more than just being camera shy. i don't see why i have the need to capture a moment in time for viewing when i can capture the feeling of that moment in my being. i don't see why i need to capture the image of you or myself, when the ravages of time will take that away. anyways, my dearest section, your voices (quite literally) and faces and spirits are imprinted in my mind, written on my heart, and embedded in my soul. and that goes the same for all the other people in band that are dear to me.
i actually crashed geog tutorial cos i was early in school and wanted to pass time. after that was quite hectic. the rehearsal at vch nearly killed me. it was so tiring, and i was dumb enough to give my all during the rehearsal. don't ask me how i managed to survive the concert, cos i honestly don't know. it was very tiring. mr wobbly teeth and shoulder cramp were permanently with me after the rehearsal already.
i know that jeremy had a hand cramp cos we were talking to each other in between pieces about our mistakes and sound. i thought that the first half before the intermission was very bad. nearly lost my hype over the last part of the concert.
the bus ride to vch was nice. i liked looking at the historical buildings in the city. i'm not a particularly city person, more of the park and country person, but i do see the charm in the city. the hustle and bustle, if not overbearing, can be actually quite refreshing and pleasant. the skyscrapers don't particularly appeal to me, BUT i so liked the look of fullerton. in fact i like the look of anderson bridge and vch as well. the old buildings in this world bring with the stories and memories of times past. its nice to imagine that you're treading on the very same ground that legends could have been treading. old things and buildings have more heart than the newer, clean ones. they haven't weathered the storm. its nice to know that many tears and smiles have been shared in old buildings, that you might share a smile or a tear there. its nice to know.
but as we all know time takes care of all things new. eventually, the new things we take for granted and look at in awe will become old buildings that we'll adore. just as old buildings were history in the making.
i'm pooped, and i think i might just steal some sleep now.
marlz
5/19/2006 05:30:00 ip.