I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
sunnuntai, maaliskuuta 26, 2006
blocktests suck
now that block tests are finally over i blog with peace of mind.
the possibility of my parents visiting the school YET AGAIN because of dismal results is,i predict, going to be a reality. i'm totally annoyed with myself. absolutely.
discounting econs, i really did study for my other papers, esp geog and lit paper 1. but it seems as if my efforts were all for naught. i'm very disappointed with the urban geog section of the geog paper. i didn't finish my drqs, and then the essay was absolute nonsense. i can't help but feel that i've not only let myself down but ms sim, mrs tay and mr chen as well (cos they taught us urban geog, the latter doing most of the teaching). i just don't get why i don't get human geog as well. maybe its because of my lack of passion for econs, which is closely tied to human geog (highly unlikely). i don't see why the very part of geog that most people find easy to tackle becomes such an obstacle for me. even my hydro part, which i don't fully comprehend even now, had more substance than the urban part. maybe its because i'm just STUPID.
lit paper 1 was just as atrocious. if there is any way to learn how to manage one's time in examinations, i'll sign right up. i wasted most of my time contemplating which question to do. i sorely wanted to attempt the essay question, BUT me being a coward, i attempted the context question instead. finding ideas as to how to write the essay could be likened to me trying to squeeze liquid out of a rock. i didn't even manage to finish. in the end, i left my essay hanging very badly with no conclusion, or one of those things which mrs logan likes to call a wrapping up statement. nothing of the sort. i wonder if ms k might ask me if i really did write the essay that we did for homework the other time. all i know is that there WILL BE a drastic dip in the grades from that assignment.
econs is a dead case. the only saving grace abt the paper was the mkt structure essay. which i didn't finish either.
papers 8 and 4 for lit were so-so. i seemed to be in a stupor when i read through both the qn papers. again, for paper 8 i wasted time trying to decide on which qn to do. and i did prose, which is totally against my instincts. its bad. i NEVER go against my instincts. the prose, i guess, seemed easier, but i've never been accustomned to writing the critical analysis on prose. drama is always what i find easiest to do. paper 4 had no essay question. i thought i would die when i saw there was NO OPTION as to which qn to do, as there was only 1 question. the worst part is, I'VE READ THAT TEXT BEFORE. i borrowed a full compilition of Edgar Allen Poe's works (both prose and poetry) from the library in Lappeenranta when i was biding my time in Finland last year. i should have had an advantage over others because it was supposed to be unseen. on hindsight, i feel like i totally and absolutely screwed that paper up. totally no up to standard, and i feel VERY disgusted at myself.
sometimes, i just don't get why i'm so stupid and others are smart. why is it that i'm such a failure, even when i try my best?
marlz
3/26/2006 06:52:00 ap.