I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

keskiviikkona, tammikuuta 25, 2006

dang it

i had a weird fairy story that comes from a weird dream. AGAIN

i wonder why i have weird dreams. is it because i think weird or is it because i just think they are weird?

anyways, i've been plagued by DEJAVU during lessons this week. i keep getting this shiver down my spine and go, oh, haven't we discussed this topic already? when we actually haven't. or when people say things at places, and i could guarantee you that i've heard you say it at that place before, only you haven't.

i digress. my weird dream. it was about this guy whom i know not. and i'm feeling rather eloquent today (i think it is because of Lit tutorial today) so...

this boy so fair, with voice musical and purple-sounding. it reminded me of wisps of ribbony mist around mountains far away. he told me, "i have something to show you" and took me by the hand. and we took to the air, the world whizzing past, no worries to plague us and no time to care.

so this boy so fair, he had clear eyes. so clear and bright that the sun waned as he met my gaze. and so we soared, past gleaming seas, past glistening meadows, and all i saw was his eyes and his mind.

higher, higher we pushed ourselves. fingers entwined, circling, circling. a sudden stop. he gazed at me a moment more, which felt like the eternity that it takes for a tinkling dew drop to form. he whispered, voice melodic and melancholy, whispered that we had to land.

down we came, and the boy so fair with looks so fine yet indescribable gazed once more at me. we plummeted, faster, faster, till all time stood still, and we were caught on a drift of air in a dark place.

"where is this place?" i ask him, scared.

"the noplace, the nowhere, the place in between"

a voice so sad then said to me. for though i need you i have to depart. you are what made me. you are my inventor. but now my dearest, i'm complete and need to leave you here, to find your way back. i loved you i love you and i shall love you still. for what you've done and for the time of my life. but as my creation has drawn to a close, i need to move on to another place.

and so he left me, my fair, golden boy. with voice melodic and purple sounding. with looks so fine yet indescribable. with eyes clearer and brighter than the morn. with love so great and heart so warm. he left me in the place in between, staggering, blinded, cold and alone.

so i bid goodbye to my fair boy. i hope i meet one like you again. for though you leave me in this cold, dark place. i smile with the memory our flight, our moment, your creation and your brilliant smile. for smiles are enough to keep me warm.

and that my friends, is the point at which i wake up from my nightly slumber, wondering why i dreamt of something so sweet and painful yet again.

marlz

keskiviikkona, tammikuuta 25, 2006

dang it

1/25/2006 02:21:00 ip.

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