I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
tiistaina, tammikuuta 17, 2006
ANGRY
i spell this out clearly and without any discretion of any sort. i am infuriated. i found out today that a particular someone has spread annoying rumour about me in school to people that i know. and what makes me even more angry is that the information was entirely WRONG.
fine, if you choose to uncover something undesirable about my past which you have heard from someone else (which is according to your standards mind you, cos i don't feel anything is shameful, and what is i've already made clear to the ones closest to me) i wouldn't mind. PROVIDED IT IS THE TRUTH. not hearsay, and not made up.
i don't see why you have to create false reports about me. i know who you are, and you know who you are. what have i done to provoke you? the fact is that i've done nothing. i've been a bit cold, perhaps, and maybe even appeared unfriendly. but i've tried to be civil as far as i can, and when we are forced to chat with each other or just happen to pass by. but I HAVE NEVER SPREAD FALSEHOODS ABOUT YOU.
heck. i just don't know whats your problem. i've kept to myself when faced with you everytime, and i've not said a thing to you or about you at all. and when i have, i've tried to create to maintain the reputation that you hold, and not destroy it to you. i ask you when did i do anything that is against you.
people ask me if i have something against you. and i reply with truth. YES I DO. but i've not gone further than that. i've not told on you the real reason that i don't quite like you, and even if i have given an excuse, its a VERY FEEBLE ONE that most people dismiss as me being silly. WHY i ask you WHY did you find the need to spoil my reputation?
so you want to know. really why i don't like you? here it is. I SEE SOMETHING OF MYSELF IN YOU. you happy now? you wanted to know didn't you? i don't like you cos i hate myself, and in my eyes and opinion, i feel that we are similar in some ways, therefore my dislike. so i'm foolish. big deal. it does NOT give you a right to create falsehoods about me.
i just don't understand what it your problem. just because of some friction between us.
sheesh. i should have known all along. and i actually thought that you might have been better than that and that you ought to be held in higher esteem than me.
marlz
1/17/2006 11:32:00 ap.