I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, joulukuuta 01, 2005
lightning
isn't it strange how we always say "today's going to be a long day" if something unpleasant is lined up for us, but the next thing we know, we are awake in our beds the morning after, scratching our heads and wondering how the day passed by so quickly.
indeed, it is rare that i have a slow day nowadays. no matter how unpleasant it is, it always passes quicker that i would like it to. its as if i'm watching my life on fast forward. i wake in the morning, everything passes so quickly that its a blur, and then its evening, and i've plonked myself in front of the computer. its like what säsä said once. today is sauna day(friday), and then its suddenly the virallinen sauna päivä again. you start wondering where the rest of the week that was in between went.
its so different from secondary school. days seemed longer, and things were somehow slower. i get less tired, and was less out of breath. and somehow friends seemed to be forever. and i hardly see them anymore, because i'm so caught up with whats going on in school.
what brought about this reflection was me clicking on the song by dishwalla, angels and devils, on my computer and listening to it. i remember that jake intro-ed to me some time back.
if there is any song that can make my stomach feel funny and my heart somehow heavier, its that one.
suddenly, i feel this overwhelming nostalgia come over me. its my official theme song. its MINE. ok and jake's. haha. cos he intro-ed to me in the first place and made me fall in love with it. but otherwise its MINE!
suddenly i feel depressed. shall go indulge in sleep. i'm tired. as usual.
heippa then.
marlz
12/01/2005 01:14:00 ip.