marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
tiistaina, marraskuuta 08, 2005
avoiding people
just back from band prac. was super fun. i love =)
i'm in a particularly good mood. i finished op yesterday, and it went quite well. band was good. i'm tasting true freedom tomorrow. and i'm home relatively early. life is good.
since life is good, i'm a good mood and also since i'm *cough* naturally *cough* kind *cough* i shall share something that i've become very good at in the past 5 years.
being a former councillor meant being under the schools observation and being scrutinized by everyone you could possibly know. AND when you get someone in trouble with the authorities in the name of duty, things may get awkward you and the said person.
besides that, personal issues may make things awkward between you and a person in school. so, i've devised a guide to avoiding people that you choose to avoid (call him/her the avoidee) for people in your class as well as out of your class.
over the years, i find that i've honed my skills at avoiding, and have become quite good at it, if i may say so myself. and i must type it out or i'm going to forget it sooner or later. i don't avoid that much in jc, except for a few odd cases.
so here it goes...
1. get to know a little about your avoidee. this has to be done should your avoidee be in a different class from you. if your avoidee is in the same class as you, this should not be a problem. things you should find out about your avoidee are namely the avoidee's favourite hangouts in school, the avoidee's routes to classes, the avoidee's recess and break times as well as the avoidee's good friends.
2. avoid all eye contact with the avoidee. the worst thing to do is to stare at the avoidee, as this will attract the avoidee's attention. remember that less eye contact means it is less likely that the avoidee will notice you or attempt to initiate conversation, thus meaning less contact with the avoidee which is your main purpose in avoiding him/her (duh!)
3. learn to recognize your avoidee from far far away. even better if you have good eyesight, or are walking a floor above from the intended corridor. it is of utmost importance that you check that the coast is clear before proceeding, and even then, proceed with caution. some avoidees have a nasty habit of popping out of classrooms suddenly, or coming round corners at breakneck speeds to spring a surprise on you. by recognizing the individual from far away, you can quickly move towards alternative routes and thus avoid contact. if you are unfortunate enough to be in a tight spot remember instruction number 4.
4. when walking school corridors, remember to be carry something in your hands or in your bag that will make you look busy. useful items include a timetable, a piece of paper, a book, or (the most common of them all) a handphone. remember to take small and slow steps to make it look as if you are absorbed in whatever you are reading. this will make sure that anyone, not just your avoidee, will not bother you on your way to classes or the other places in school. this is also very handy when you just happen to walk down the same corridor as the avoidee or if your avoidee suddenly springs round a corner.
5. make sure you wear a watch, or carry a handphone. should you be so unlucky as to bump into the avoidee or see the avoidee coming your way, glance repeatedly at your watch, or furrow you brow as you gaze at your handphone and run/stride quickly to your destination, thus giving the avoidee the slip.
6. take note of the avoidee's route to school and which form or transport that the avoidee uses to get to school. this information is very good if the avoidee happens to stay in the same neighbourhood as you. also, take note of the time that the avoidee makes their way to school, so as to avoid ANY contact at all. come earlier, later,on different transport. anything but with the person on the bus or mrt, or even worse, walk in the gate at the same time. makes things very difficult you know.
7. in the event that you just happen to see your avoidee on the way to school, start daydreaming, or even better, pretend to sleep. by appearing worried, absorbed in something, or asleep, your avoidee will certainly not bother you on the way to school. aft you reach the stop, and if you do alight at the same stop, run off like a mad person to the nearest toilet, or to a friend that is just ahead of you, denying the avoidee of the opportunity of talking to you or waving hi.
8. have a friend/group of friends in the know. a good/best/close friend(s) who knows the reasons as to why you are avoiding the avoidee and to the avoidee's identity always serves as a most valuable look out for you. also, if you are walking down a corridor and you don't spot the avoidee, your friend (who usually would accompany you, i assume) could nudge you and then immediately start a conversation. make sure you look as if the both of you are totally absorbed in the conversation. the best way to do this is to engage in the ohgoodnessyouaresofunnyguffaw conversation or ihavesomethingserioustotalkabout conversation. look at your feet while you are speaking, walk slowly and never ever pay any attention to anything around you so that you don't attract attention.
9. should your friends not know abt the avoidee or why you are avoiding the person, remember to act indifferent. do not discuss the avoidee in class (especially if the avoidee is in the same class) and pretend to not be interested in any information. it is important to gather information without appearing as if you are, as this will attract attention and might lead to a confrontation ebtween you and the avoidee. best just to avoid the topic of the avoidee altogether. however, if your friends are in the know, then it is ok to discuss him/her.
10. even better, pretend the avoidee is nonexistant. this way, you'll forget totally about the avoidee. look past the avoidee's shoulder or through the avoidee should the person look at you. pretending the person is invisible, or that you don't know the avoidee (again if, you friends don't know), would minimize the possible contact you might have with the avoidee or any interaction that would be expected of you with respect to the avoidee if people know you have met with the avoidee previously.
11. avoid the avoidee's usual hangouts in school as well as the avoidee's best friends like plague. this, however, does not work with avoidees that are classmates with you. if the avoidee's friends happen to be mutual friends with you already, it will not be wise to avoid them as this will mean less friends for you and also that you may run the risk of the avoidee catching on that you are avoiding him/her. simply avoid all conversation about the avoidee, and you ought to be fine in the company. if they aren't your friends, then best keep away from them. keeping away from hangouts also lessens the chance of the two of you running into each other.
12. in the event that you run into the avoidee without realising it and the person greets you, then utter a greeting, ask how the person has been, comment that you have not seen each other for a long time, and make up a reason for it. should the avoidee ask you a question, answer in a civil manner then squeeze out a smile, even if it makes you look constipated and say that you have something to do and rush off like there are a thousand dragons on your tail. this would be more realistic if you look at your watch repeatedly, avoid eye contact and shift from foot to foot during the brief conversation.
13. should the avoidee be bold enough to tap you on the shoulder whilst you are in the company of friends, act as in 12, and then conveniently brush off the avoidee by starting a conversation with your friend about something that is totally alien to the avoidee. then, allow the conversation to rattle on until the avoidee gets bored or feels left out and leaves. then rejoice because the avoidee left =)
14. if the avoidee gets wind that you are avoiding him/her and tries to confront you, feign ignorance. give a surprised smile, laugh and ask which dubious source did the avoidee such rubbish from. then politely say goodbye and leave for the washroom. wait long enough in the washroom until the coast is clear, or alternatively, don't go to the washroom at all and evacuate the area. the avoidee should feel reassured and leave feeling satisfied that the information he/she had was nonsense and leave you alone.
15. if the avoidee finds out that you really are avoiding him/her then things should get even simpler because the person will (in most cases) avoid you right back (aren't i clever) thus making sure that no awkward situations should arise whatsoever.
problem solved. *smiles demurely*
it is most important that your avoidee does not know that you are avoiding him/her. make sure it appears as if your avoidee does not bother you a mite. if the avoidee is in the same class, most of the above instructions ought to work, with some modification. if the avoidee has to work with you at all, make sure you are professional during group work or pair work and then avoid the avoidee.
-disclaimer : it is still better to work out your problems with the avoidee than just outright avoid the person. but as i know, in some cases, avoiding cannot be helped, and thus my very useful manual, mostly for my own use-
who said avoiding people was difficult aye?
marlz
11/08/2005 01:53:00 ip.