I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, syyskuuta 08, 2005
brain juice anyone?
there's been encouraging tags and anonymous hugs on my blog. so sweet =) i do wish who the mysterious huggers are. its been rough, trying to sort myself and the thoughts that float about in my head out. and i still haven't reached a conclusion, so i don't know. and i'm most grateful that no one asked me what i meant, because i really don't want to discuss what i meant by that post. otherwise, i've been slightly happier this week.
*shrugs* i guess somethings never change. my head. its as if there is this vice slowly tightening itself on my brains. headaches. i wonder if its my anxiety over the coming exams, or my general loss of interest in life (rather, my current life) or maybe it might be some disease. i wish i knew.
damn that phrasei don't get people who don't like kids. specifically, i don't get women who don't like kids. or babies. and i don't like men/boys/any specimen of a male who thinks that girls/women/any female who adore kids and squeal when they see babies, and just can't stop holding and cuddling them are paedophiles. its a wrong word to use. VERY WRONG. it is in our instincts to hold and cuddle and protect and love kids. if any man out there thinks that its irksome that i/ppl i know/most women cannot get our hands of a baby/child when we see one then i suggest you make sure you don't marry, or find someone like minded. personally, i can't help but grin when i see a child. the ickle hands and feet and noses and ears. and when they smile *melts* girls play house as a child for a reason you know. because its part of our nature, and it'll stick with us till we are old and wrinkled. wee ones are so cute. it doesn't last long, but i do think it is worth it. i like wee ones *beams*
it is sad that nothing made me smile and feel
really happy this week besides watching toddlers totter about on the telly.
i guess i'll never know.
marlz
rosy leaves a-tossing in the wind ride into the sunset of another time of rain and darkness
9/08/2005 03:15:00 ip.