I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
keskiviikkona, syyskuuta 14, 2005
bad days?
today was not a bad day. it was a not-so-good day.
think it was because i was tired, and then overly exerted myself during pe. whatever it was, it left me drained.
passed my geog test, which is a rare thing to occur, but i'm happy because of the improvement. i managed to pass although i didn't study (something i don't condone)instead of fail like i usually do.
weird dreams make me tired. last night i dreamt i took drugs. it was from a drug peddling gang in school, and for some reason, some people who were classmates with me in prcs once were in that game and they gave me these pills. they gave me some little green pills which anand told me today afternoon was ketamine. and then i dreamt i was high. the worst part was that i was so startled i tried to wake up, but could only do so partially, and thus i suceeded in scaring myself further. i tried to walk to the toilet in my semi-asleep state. i staggered there and really thought i was 'high' because of the fogginess of everything around me. so i went back to bed and somehow fell asleep again. it was so real, so i went to pick up something when i really woke up to see if i would shake or anything just to confirm and my pen shook! but i told myself it was just nerves and it didn't shake anymore. talk about weird dreams.
i need to sleep then i'll go mug. just. so. tired.
marlz
9/14/2005 08:18:00 ap.