I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

lauantaina, elokuuta 20, 2005

the lit assignment left my brain dead and i've a test on monday. malay. i've never been good in my 2nd language, which can be understood since, technically, its my 3rd language, not 2nd. but i really want to score well this time. i don't know why. perhaps its because cikgu raihana is getting to me. i really hope i don't let her down.

so i was absolutely konked after band on friday. cherri is sick again, the poor creature. and i was yawning throughout the prac because of the assignment. my whole class zoned out during the econs tutorial AND i nearly fell asleep on that comfy chair in the library while reading the papers. at least i wasn't like our koala king who was sound asleep in the canteen before pccg, probably dreaming of annihilating the human race and world domination with a koala army. a very chubby koala army. he's weird. we only woke up at the end of the day, during pe. after that i could have slept long and deep, but had to go for band.

justin suggested i write a book entitled "insults for your everyday use" and sign it for the open hse. haha, i knew i could throw insults like nothing, but i didn't know ppl would think that. sorry ah long, but you just had an ego bigger than your ears. so yea, if anything, flap those biggies and give me a sign that my target practice on you is too much for you. besides that, you're nice *winks*

last week it was proven that science classes are dead. its zombie land in class. really, i don't mean to hurt the feelings of any worshippers of the bunsen burner and test tube, but its true, as far as i've seen. really, they are nice people, but they just aren't as spontaneous and zany and gila as the arts classes. and i'll admit it has nothing to do with maths since there are arts classes that take math and are as equally crazy as classes that don't.

i would like to say, however, that some ppl are just plain mean. just because we take arts, doesn't mean that we're rowdy and stupid. i, for one, didn't like the way the science class we were dealing during friday's pccg lesson had members that were dismissive of us. so we aren't a majority in college. big deal. it doesn't mean we didn't make the cut, cos we did, but we just dudn't choose to be a majority. its boring. so cut the eye rolling and the attitude. we were just trying to liven things up in class. SO THERE.

i'm positively delighted that hiap luh tagged! though he would have forgotten me by now, but its seems that memories of those times at OBS just stick in everyone's minds. gosh, how i miss sitting in the rain, laughing at how pathetic we all looked, cooking 14 maggie packets in one pot and making an illegal campfire. and that was just a teeny fraction of the fun. hope you're doing fine hiap luh =)

oh and yes, vicnan, i definitely haven't forgotten you. i've frequented your blog since the beginning of this year and found out who you were when you tried to cajole me into cp. have fun in poly

academics aside, i'm nothing now. not even close to being a wraith. i feel like i'm floating aimlessly in space, in time. everthing i do is suddenly so mechanical. i don't go out anymore, i just sit and mope at home. it seems as if studies anchor me down. just imagine, if that were taken away from we. what would i do. what could i do. where would i go. i wonder what i've become. its as if, i'm nothing without school. and even then, i don't know why i'm doing what i do. i've become a robot. nothing more. and should school suddenly stop, i'd be blown away, and float somewhere far away, never to come back.

and so life (whatever remnants of it) in jc goes on

toodles~

marlz

the snow, white and crystalline, so soft to touch but painfully sharp to feel

lauantaina, elokuuta 20, 2005

8/20/2005 04:55:00 ip.

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