I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
perjantaina, elokuuta 26, 2005
kapeesh
doubts. they plague me.
geez, school has been at a tolerable level. though i've been really really woozy due to medicine. the list of things that i've done due the the meds these 2 days include walking straight into the wall at some void deck on the way to school, trying to tie shoelaces that have been already tied, writing marilyn's name on my own paper, penning really weird sentences that sound like nothing but poppycock, losing half of my WR due to unknown reasons AND being generally off tangent during school hours. heh. i'm suprised i got this far without typographical errors considering that i just swallowed another dose of icky tasting cough syrup.
classmates have again shown their big heartedness. A(h)lan asked me very kindly if i was feeling better the day before i returned and upped my pangkat to second in command in his (nonexistant) utopia/dystopia. i'm now no longer a nameless pauper stranded on the streets but the general of the koala army. off to conquer the (imaginary) world i go. wan wen said he's delusional or something. i think he's trying to be nice =)
Ah long let me give him (unwillingly of course) a tongue lashing and ego bashing that has his ego as flat as his butt right now. i've been deprived of teasing him, i've forgotten how fun it was.
Janna, bless her heart, helped me to pass my mc to mrs logan AND made sure i was not the laughing stock of the school by walking into any more pillars. Vanessa, Radiah and NurC have been sweet as usual. Justin's been very nice to me also. Marilyn follows me to toilets and talks abt Villa Wellness and Jon Johnson =). anyways, its such a long list i can't list down all. i love A202.
although i've been geting minimal sleep due to coughing fits, i managed to get a lil shut eye last night. AND i even dreamed. i dreamt of concrete pavements. the hustle and bustle of town on a cold, crisp winter's morning. the smell of fresh coffee from the coffee house round the corner. light-hearted chatter of teenage girls as they pass by. a dark haired young man leaning over a steaming cup of cocoa as he reads his book and does some people watching. the merry tune of the busker at the corner near the goldsmith's shop. a couple holding hands, walking so briskly so that they look like two robots attached to each other by the hands. the crunching of gravel under my heel as i cross the road and walk into the town graveyard. names. old ones. new ones. emotions buried under the snow laden graves. pale morning sunlight filtering through the trees, barely touching the tops of the stone markers. the church bell chiming eight times in the distance. i breathe. and i woke up, it came to an end.
delightful.
*pops a lozenge into mouth* i need to sleep more. really.
oh well, till i update again. toodles~
marlz
first blush of spring roses cause gleaming tears to fall like pearls
8/26/2005 12:40:00 ip.