I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

perjantaina, elokuuta 05, 2005

american fitness

american fitness. oxymoron. nyahahahah...ok i'm being mean.

fridays are a pain where the sun don't shine. its just downright stupid to come to school for 5 tutorials and 5 periods of break, of which the last period of the day is PE, and straight after that is band.

not to mention band, now that is another major pain in the a**. i mean seriously, coming to school for 4 days in a week and then being told off after the practice isn't at all a nice experience. i rather be at home sleeping. talk about urges to pon.

guess what, we've finally finished act 5 of King Lear, which means we've come to the end of the play. quite frankly, i love the play to bits, but when it comes to presentation topics i have a knack for choosing themes that cannot be researched online. the result? pure smoking, and alot of hoping for good luck and a nice smiley ms lim mood for the day. if not, then its the 3 letter word. D-I-E. i've had so much smoking through my essays and presentations this month that i feel as if my head is as bouyant as a hot air balloon.

today we discussed disguises and deception in class, and the concept of the fluidity of identity really got my attention. think about it, when you're born, you have a clean slate and as you grow our identity is formed. it is more of a perceived image not only by yourself, but also what your peers think of you. that's how conmen get their way, they change their identity with the snap of a finger and convince people to hand their money over willingly. its is quite similar to how you would have that teeny voice in your head asking what if. what if you changed your name? what if you lied about your age? quite frankly, who would know? and even if you didn't lie, but you acted differently with your new companions, then how would they know that that wasn't the real you, and that you, in actual fact, are very different when you're without them.

definitely, it is natural for humans to be inquisitive and curious. (hey curiosity killed the cat, not man. haha) so why not be curious about people's reactions to your identity, or rather, what they perceive to be your true identity? its so imaginary that it drives me nuts just thinking about it.

i'm not suggesting you go about giving yourself different names or anything, but just think about it. we are in a point in our lives where we are trying to form an identity for ourselves and be different (of course, with a whole group of poeple who want to be different in the same way. its the best way to go about doing it)let your mind explore all the possibilities and you might just find you'll become as much a nut like me (this is a PG activity, remember to have a parent/guardian around for your own safety and the sanity of others. in other words, i'm a bugger)

hehe...

perhaps i ask too many questions, i often wonder when i'm toeing the line between inquisitive and pure kaypoh-ness, or that i'm just trying to be impossible *smiles*

i'd better warn my mom that the bane of her life has just gotten worse. much worse. be afraid, be very afraid, marlz is in a202. *evils laughter*

oh well, time to do some econs questions. profoundly dull stuff, but that economics for you. its so...blah

toodles

marlz

- i feel green waves pounding against me, spring has awoken and i must find the tree-

perjantaina, elokuuta 05, 2005

american fitness

8/05/2005 05:12:00 ap.

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