I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

torstaina, heinäkuuta 21, 2005

did you say cry?

i let my blog stagnate again. darn. i need to blog i need to blog i need to blog. and desperately damn it!

yes yes, a flurry of activity in school. lo and behold, our weeks are already flying past. the count down to promos has started and that means the dreadful r-word.

my mom has to come down to school to see the teacher abt the results. hah. find it quite amusing, especially since its the first time. i don't know what will happen, i hope nothing bad. for sure i know that nothing good will happen. don't know if i'll find things as amusing during the meeting.

a colossal pile of work has started piling on the study table. and a rushed presentation took place today. which i got a wee bit upset over, and i think its the lack of blogging. but nice people in the class make you cheer faster. i think i've a headache from all the fretting. no. i haven't stopped fretting, would be more accurate. one more presentation to go. anyways, nice people in the class make you smile. thanks a202 for the kind words, tissue, smiles, for patting my back and for the friendly punches. and if i was harsh because i wished not elaborate (yes, i mean you Anand) when you asked what was wrong and whether i was ok, then i'm sorry. i just needed my space that all. oh AND we made the teacher think, she said she hadn't thought about our theory. hah. don't know if thats bad or good, but i think our group did well.

lets not make our hearts heavy with light issues.

talking abt a202 reminds me of the 2 budding philosophers we have in class:

Janna - you may like mnms, but you can look at other chocolate too (with regards to chummies and eye candy)
Muhadher - when something has gone, let it pass (he was talking abt undone work, and not doing it since it was long ago when he was supposed to)

signing, or rather, sign language is fun. no more sessions though.

cherri and me are in the same room thanks to a swap with bao lun and wenqi. i wish i wish that wenqi is my neighbour room, can get high together. a bit sad that some people can't make it (year 2s). i know it'll be fun, but it'll be more fun with them along. i guess we'll have to make do with what we have.

band pracs are getting tiring these days. nothing but national day stuff. and no ms sia. its different from crestwinds days. we practised many things on the same day, made things more interesting. now i'm stuck with noah's ark ringing in my head. the last time i had something ringing in my head was when i was studying for o levels. brandenburg concerto number 2. hah. darn. i wish i hadn't typed that, i can feel the thing starting to ring all over again. after all that trouble of getting rid of it.

been rushing here and there i can't help but flop on my bed and pass out at night. i've passed out on my work on a few occasions, to wake up at 2 am and realise that my work is not done and my lights are still own. i'm seriously considering getting my hands on some caffeine pills.

PW's driving me to the edge, but i've a strong feeling that its normal. so i shan't rant about that. perhaps rant is too strong a word. hmm.

words just can't convey enough, because they fail you. or perhaps its just my very bad language. whoever marked my lit paper circled 3 paragraphs and wrote in bold CAPITALS another dreaded-r word : RAMBLING. thats definitely a first. it annoys me that i know not what words to use to describe my thoughts. even the econs marker turned into a gp tutor for a moment. "Not quite correct phrasing" next to a number of my sentences.

like i said, i'm doomed to be stupid the rest of my life, no matter how much i try. stupid stupid lor, what to do...

morning bus rides are a pleasure. cold air, grey skies, and wind. ribbons of green running through the tree tops. quite calming. a great change from the noisy, vibrant atmosphere in the mj compound. the first thing that i notice everytime i step through the gate is how it teems with life. quiet or noisy? i can't choose i can't choose.

i'm going nuts. for real.

no, really.

REALLY.

one more presentation to go *sighs* King Lear. have to handle by this saturday. bleah.

did i say cry?

torstaina, heinäkuuta 21, 2005

did you say cry?

7/21/2005 09:25:00 ap.

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