marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
lauantaina, kesäkuuta 18, 2005
sparkling
its been a busy week of cramming and panicking because the mid years are looming ahead of me. the subject that has me all spooked is econs. i've even woken up in the middle of the night because i was worried that i've not done enough. gotten me into trouble as well, because of the early mornings spent on tys and making notes my eyes have started drooping a whole lot more in school while studying. darn. i must get sleep, but there is just no time unless i sacrifice my shut eye.
studying makes me go on a caffeine diet. coffee helps when i study, but not when i get home. been resorting to jogging in the evenings because i get so jittery that i just have to work off that energy before i get my sleep.
AND i still haven't started studying for lit properly. i doubt that i'm going to finish studying before the mid years. i'm dead. its one more week. DIE.
i prided myself on being a slacker in sec 4 and look at what i am now, i've (sadly) joined the ranks of the muggeroids. *sighs* a girl has to do what a girl has to do.
well, about the happier events of the week.
1. i met jake at the interchange that day. i very nearly just passed by without noticing, but he tapped my shoulder and i managed only to say hi. i wanted to say something else, and looked awhile, wondering what to say, but recalled that i had to go home so i just said bye and walked off. so rude right. anyways, jake i apologize that i couldn't chat, really really had to leave. oh, you know, you look like a polar bear, so white and jolly. lol.
2. band bbq yesterday. i came early and found the pits deserted save for the exco members, so i helped them to start a fire. took us 2 hours just to get a teeny fire started. and thats before we noticed that none of the food was skewered. so me and 2 other girls started doing that. the skewering part was fun, but i guess i did abit too many 'till some food didn't get cooked even as the fire died out. the cert presentation was fun, and after that i had to rush home. pity that poor lady who sat next to me in the bus, i smelt of smoke. was tired, had eyes that were smarting because of the soot that got in, and had sandy feet but it was fun! reminded me of obs. hehe.
3. met eric today aft school today. had a good chat and quite a nice time. as always. :)
4. talked to huda over the phone. miss huda alot. but then its hard to meet, really. die die must study, but i also want to meet her.
so that pretty much sums up my week. boring.
random topic that i think of while stoning on the bus ride to school:
terror vs horror. would you rather have hints and indications that something is there, or would you rather straight out see it? its like hearing something bump in the night, as compared to actually seeing the monster, whatever it is. both ways, it involves you being scared of the thing and being curious and wanting to know more of that horrible being.
i prefer terror as compared to horror. it leaves things to the imagination, and makes you laugh at yourself when you've assumed something is really bad when it really isn't. so it does make you feel bad awhile, but after that, depending on what you were terrified over, i guess things are better. it really depends on what you fear, because sometimes, terror is followed up by horror. imagine standing in a dark room hearing something come towards you, and then looking up and seeing a ghost.
ugh. too much of the Gothic. all thanks to the late night chat with Dr S. wonder how aneesha is getting to sleep aft we told her what the sandman REALLY does at night. haha.
i suppose it is human nature to be attracted to the 'bad'. we all want to indulge in something that is deemed sinful, and we do, because we feel like it. like how people who like chocolate and know that its bad for you just go ahead and buy it in the end. i guess thats what makes the bad boy image appeal to so many. another example is how ppl who are religious and those who aren't are almost always friends. and NO its, not because the religious want to influence the 'sinners'.
i don't believe in willpower, i think it is something that man has created to make him believe that he is capable of being perfect. trying to be perfect is an utter waste of time. i've learnt that the hard way. but i've learnt my lesson well. but i'm not saying that we can be bad either, besides, we are conscious beings for a reason. to know when to do what. we aren't heartless creatures, devoid of feeling. how i've always reasoned it is that people do things for a reason, and even if they do something that is considered heartless, well, they are just trying to survive, only they went about it the wrong way. its the survival of the fittest out here, it is how we are made, and it is natural to think of ourselves, be selfish once in awhile. we aren't saints you know.
i stone far too much. must stop stoning and read on the bus instead. i'll have a bout of motion sickness when i alight, but i guess all is good since i'd have squeezed in some study time.
i just want mye to be over. i guess i'll stop my gibberish only then.
till i talk more sense, toodles~
marlz
6/18/2005 03:43:00 ip.