I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

tiistaina, kesäkuuta 07, 2005

no free lunches

wasn't in a sugary sweet mood this morning. i guess it was thinking over this incident that happened yesterday morning that soured my mood. but i was happier on the way to school. and when i reached home, suddenly i found myself in that same not-happy-but-not-unhappy state. i don't know how to describe the feeling, and i shan't go further than that elaborating abt it bcos i assume that most have an imagination, or have experienced it before.

so.my books and my walls and bed don't make any sound that is remotely near to the sound of laughter, and there is no one that i can laugh with now, or smile at, so i i have to act like a lunatic. make myself laugh and smile. it seriously annoys my family when i do that. i start having a laughing fit and then they have no idea what i'm laughing about. they won't understand it anyways, so i guess i won't bother telling them what is helping me pass the day today. and since they don't read this blog, i can ramble on and on abt what amuses me. haha. the advantages of having a family that think blogs are worthless. i think they are wrong. the greatest things in life a free. like air and sleep and laughter and smiles =) if blogging make me smile, then it can't be all that worthless right? and even better, if (and i doubt this, since i'm hardly a funny person) it makes someone else smile, then its worth much much more.

band prac today. i played better today than last week's prac. i still need to work on it more, and i'm glad. we went through noah's ark, first time i'm looking at it. and since my sight reading is terrible, i guess i didn't fare too well. the easy parts were fine, but the running notes and melody parts need a whole lot of work. but its ok. i don't mind working on it. i found it quite a fun piece to play, despite the fact that i was struggling with certain parts.

i like to smile =)

some seniors turned up for prac today. wee kiat, and wenqi and joel and fuquan. i don't remember if there were anymore. i thought i was late, but i was early (as usual) and only kailing and myself were in the band room for a whole 15 minutes, before others started arriving.

talking abt this band makes me happy, but looking at crestwinds makes me frown. our conductors have upped and left. well, i can't blame them, its the second time its happend, and its because of the same reason : the school. for a school that wishes to carve a niche in music, my school has a knack of getting instructors of the music ccas to quit. and what is a band, or a choir, or a chinese orchestra without the instructors. crestwinds is in a bad situation now. and i'm fed up that no one is trying to do anything about it. the last time our conductor left, we were stuck in a rut that we couldn't get out of. not only did we have no direction, we had a bunch of seniors that hardly came accept for a precious few like huda, and worse, all the teachers that did study music in their lifetime were in charge of choir. ALL of them. save one, a sax player, who is now in charge of violin. sax player and violin? i don't know, don't as ask me, ask the school.

its a nightmare for every band, i guess. having a school that isn't supportive of you. but crestwinds has it really bad. it is not the instruments that are lacking, it is guidance, and practice time. how on earth does a band practice if they can't draw the band room key, or access their instruments and music? we had that problem in the past, and its still ongoing now. room access is a serious problem that i had hoped would be fixed, but it still isn't. and the school refuses to change so that crestwinds has some even a minuscale chance of doing well. i have a mind to go back and wallop all the staff upside down.

there, i'm getting all huffy. i can't help it. officially part of the second batch of crestwinds, i see it a duty to continue helping them develop what we have established. to make sure the efforts the pioneers and my batch put into our "baby project" have not gone to waste. we just want to make good music, is that so wrong?

i better stop here or my mood will be spoiled again.

i think i better get back to reading, and gosh its late. oh, i still haven't decided on what to bake. it'll prolly be cinnamon buns, or a pie. but i can't decide which. hmmmm.

till i decide what to bake~

marlz

tiistaina, kesäkuuta 07, 2005

no free lunches

6/07/2005 02:28:00 ip.

links

archives

credits