I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, kesäkuuta 20, 2005
daddy's day?
yesterday was Fathers' Day. what i did for my father? absolutely nothing.
shameless marlz
i do feel a twinge of regret when i watch families celebrate on fathers' day, and actually have fun. but when i think about it, quite frankly, my family will never be like that. its next to impossible.
i don't hide the fact that me and my father, well, lets just say we don't quite get along. sometimes, i can't help the fact that i let him get on my nerves though i know that he's trying to be funny. its his way of amusing himself, and, i can safely say that i've gotten used to him calling me 'giraffe' or 'that big woman' etc etc. you get the picture. its maddeningly annoying, especially since its me he picks on. but there, like i said, its his way of showing he 'likes' me. what to do. just leave it like that lar.
the more rockier times have to be when we scream at each other. i don't doubt that i'm somewhat like my dad when it comes to our mannerisms, thats probably why he annoys me so. i have already one of me to deal with, and along comes another me who just can't resist finding something to annoy me with. i've learnt its best to leave each other alone and avoid touchy topics, like the america and computers. definite no-no.
the better times? funny as it sounds, i actually miss him calling me names and resting his leg on my head when we're far apart. when he was in brunei, and i in singapore. when i was in finland, and him in singapore. or, better yet. when he was in hospital. forgive the cliche, but absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.
generally, my dad and me, we don't get along unless we're away. i guess it will be that way, and i don't intend to change that. so at home we may snap and bicker, but at least we snap and bicker, and not just keep silent and pass each other by totally, without saying a word. and to give him more credit, well, i think my dad is smart and funny in his own way. (and if youre reading this isi, don't you DARE mention this at home. *glares*) really i do. when he tries to be funny he isn't, but when he's trying to be serious, well, you'll see a whole lot of family members gasping for breath cos we're laughing so hard. like the time he called Old Chang Kee 'Old Ka Kee' (how apt right) and he said that his student would have a place in NUT aft they read his testimonial for her. (he actually meant NTU, but i suspect he never knew which course she was going to take in the first place). *sighs* so you see, sometimes my dad can be a real gem.
daddy's day? well, i can't be bothered with it. who says we need to show anything when love is so much more meaningful and potent without the fanfare. i prefer it that way. the quiet way.
so there, i actualy wanted to blog about something else but ended up blogging abt my father. perhaps i should just blog about the other issue later. *smiles*
off to school i go, for another round of mugging!
toodles~
marlz
6/20/2005 01:33:00 ap.