I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, kesäkuuta 16, 2005
books
just finished reading The Clergyman's Daughter by George Orwell. really nice. then again its because i'm partial to Orwell's novels in the first place, so its always nice. its always feels like i'm reading about something that people think but don't say, a candid way of writing. perhaps its also since i'm fed up that someone is being a filthy hypocrite these days, and i despise hypocrites.
a lil story on how i first started my reading.
i think it was my primary 2 teacher who sparked my interest in books. some over-ambitious teacher, fresh out of NIE. she handed me this book one day (i forget what book it was, my memories of primary school are hazy such that i forget the details) and to my dismay i didn't understand a single word that i read. i vowed to improve my english and so i started to frequent the library very very often in hopes of getting my english grades up.
so one day, i chanced upon 'Animal Farm' as a result of prowling around the 'big kid's' section of the library. obviously at such an age, i expected it to be some happy story, probably the kind you'd read before bed. i didn't quite understand it, and the ending left me feeling bitter and angry. it left alot of questions unanswered.
i find Orwell does that alot.the asking questions and leaving them unanswered because there is no point in answering those questions. some questions aren't meant to be answered just because. its more about accepting that these questions don't have an answer and leaving it as that. but exactly the problem lies for some people, they just can't leave things hanging. it has to be why, how come. argh, so annoying.
enough about people who ask too many questions.
nurul and zaidi and AF have come to sleep over. some fun anticipated.
i'm in the school library now taking a break from studying econs. prolly heading off to study again soon.
my tendency to be long winded has been again emphasized by a friend of mine who said she fell asleep reading my blog. i know i use 3 words to instead if one. but no need to say until like that right. aiyoh. so disappointing.
bleah. nothing else to say, since i sound so BIMBO. (erhm, like someone next to me nowm, GUESS WHOOOO)
till i have something non-bimbo to say. toodles~
marlz
6/16/2005 03:31:00 ap.