I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

tiistaina, kesäkuuta 14, 2005

betrayed

school makes you do the weirdest things.

i find it strange that i have fallen into the habit of mugging. hard core mugging. to think i was a slacker in sec 4. i guess its good for me, in a way. and surprisingly, i actually have begun to enjoy it.

to wake up relatively early in the morning to head to school has become routine. i head to the library, or the go benches. find myself a seat and hit the books. there is, i suppose, a good feeling that comes from the process studying. a sort of happiness, with a peculiar quality to it. like, you know you shouldn't be enjoying it, yet, you just do.

yes, and i mean studying for econs as well.

*sighs*

i don't know how to name what i've become, but i suppose it qualifies as a either a geek or a nut.

and yes, i went to school today as well, to study geog. got quite a bit done, if i say so meself. still not enough, if you take into account my abysmal stupidity. i need loads of practise, so expect to see me in school for the next 2 weeks of the hols if you pop down to study.

i walked slowly home today. someone asked me i why i was so sad. i'm just thinking about some things that happen around me. i suppose they think i'm sad because i'm broody. being in a pensive mood always has had sadness associated with it, so i can't blame anyone for thinking i'm sad. especially since i'm born with a weird expression on my face that makes me look either sad or angry when i don't smile, i guess you could call it a borderline frown.

i've always found it easy to guess someone's mood when i hear their voice and look at their eyes, the windows of one's soul. never by the overall expression, it never quite helps to look at the overall expression for me. i much prefer hearing their voice and looking at their eyes, but then there's me and there's others. so i can't say anything that is accurate.

there is this grafitti artist in who has scribbled all over pasir ris that has me quite interested. he's either incredibly brilliant or he's just a great copy cat that's passing off someone's quotes as his own, i don't know which. but it isn't really the person who scribbled that has me fascinated, it is what he has scribbled. he calls what he does "painting my life on these streets". pardon my ignorance, i've no idea whether that's original, or someone else has the right to lay claim on it. but i found it an interesting way to call grafitti. its almost as if he demanding that we look upon grafitti as art.

i do believe some grafitti artists have the right to that assertion. some of the work (if indeed you could call it that) you see it on streets are aesthetically pleasing, but i do have to say that most of the scribbles in public areas are more of an eyesore. i don't wish to know your number, i don't want to know who is free at nights, and i like my surfaces clean. i don't deny that grafitti doesn't hurt as long as its nice to look at, in an appropriate location (actually i don't think that authorities would think that an appropriate location for grafitti exists) and if it isn't superficial and holds some meaning. however, i don't like it when i end up looking at the downright ugly doodling of some adolescent who was bored throughout my bus ride. and NO, its not possible to shut my eyes on the bus ride, what if i miss my stop? have a thought for the people who end up cleaning up after you, please.

the days are slipping away and mye is around the corner, very soon i'll be sitting for the exams. i hope my cramming pays off, if it doesn't, then i'll be devastated.

ouch my shoulder hurts

*absentmindedly rubs nose*

i find i've no more to say. how odd.

well, then if that's the case. toodles~

marlz

tiistaina, kesäkuuta 14, 2005

betrayed

6/14/2005 01:07:00 ip.

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