I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, toukokuuta 02, 2005
sea monsters
disclaimer : any parts of this post that seems a tad weird or crude or depressing is bcos of the fact that the writer happens to be in a zombie state. thank you for understanding.
today's one of those days. that kind of day when you wake up and you just know for sure (since you have super bones that feel and never fail you) that its going to be a bad day, so you try your best to make the day good. its that kind of day where you're hyper all day, but then just something bcomes the straw that breaks the camel's back and you just fall to pieces. its that kind of day where you don't know whether to cry or to laugh,so you just do both, bcos everything feels so bad that its ridiculous.
double darn.
so i woke up at 7.40, and by the time i had gone thru my daily morning routine, i realised it was already 8.30 and i panicked. didn't band prac start at 8.30? so i rushed down, hailed a cab and went to school. only to find that i was the second person to arrive, and that the band room was deserted. AGAIN. for some reason, i can never be late, i'm always way too early.
so ppl started streaming in, and finally at around 9.40 we started sectionals. which started out with a scolding from vincent, bcos apparently, our section has a 'bad attitude' and that we 'always stream in at the exact time'. at that point, i nearly cried. but nevermind, i could see ppl were worse off than me so i continued being hyper and chirpy. at least i'd be of some use.
then ms sia called us in for combined. by then i had calmed my nerves, and all was fine again. the result? be more hyper and chirpy.
lunch. stayed in to study for econs test though i was yawning my way through. did a but of coastal geomorphology. chatted awhile. then it was back to practise.
syf is coming syf is coming syf is coming syf is coming.
all i could think of. and i still can't get my running parts right.
damn it. damn it. damn it.
listened to the recording frm that time at sch. couldn't think much. then something triggered me off and my face just fell, i couldn't keep up that hysterical laughter, whether it cheered ppl or not. tired tired tired.
headed to whitesands to meet my mom. its now almost 8 and i'm tired. very tired. but i must go on i must go on i must go on.
one happy thing happened to today. met and talked to the sea monster. i think i better stop babbling abt the sea monster since i've no idea abt the sea monster's feelings and he'll prolly figure out its him by process of elimination.
i hope i pass my promos. perhaps its a tad early to think abt that, but still. i'm always early, never late. i hope i pass my promos.
marlz
5/02/2005 11:33:00 ap.