marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
lauantaina, toukokuuta 14, 2005
po
today was that darn PO. parents orientation. what is it? a utter waste of time, and cause for argument at home. don't bother going, unless, of course, you want to pig out for free, otherwise, i suggest you stay at home.
but nooo, i couldn't just stay at home, or stay put anywhere, for that matter. i had to accompany my parents around the school and get them to talk to my teachers. what did they say? well, nothing, basically. just that i'm a good girl (well now, don't i try to be?) and that i'm chatty. ms lim even drew a laugh out of fuad and my classmates who were listening in on the convo with my mum by telling her that i was blur.
actually, i didn't mind going to school. i was there earlier than i should actually have been because i was returning the blazer to the council. i recall being in council and having a terrible time with blazers and things like that. ours was actually worse because we had to loan out not just the blazers, but the ties, the shoes, and the yellow long sleeved shirts. still, i can imagine how hectic things get when loaning out 80 sets of clothes at a time. the ultimate nightmare. things get lost, sometimes aren't even dry cleaned *grimaces* and shoes suddenly are spoiled. so never bully council, they really have alot of things to do, which also includes looking after you.
went out for lunch with the other band ppl i met at school, and hurried back to school to meet my mom. i was instead directed to LT4 to watch a 'live' screening of the talk, which i found very uninteresting, and so i took out my comprehension and started on it. at least i was using my time meaningfully. finally got to meet my mom, and to my dismay, my dad. my dad, well, not that i'm embarassed to have him there (actually i do like him around sometimes to see the school, if only he would ACT properly and not comment so much) but he just doesn't need to come to these things because he remains silent whenever it comes to teachers. i do not recall even once in my entire schooling life where he actually muttered anything in the presence of a teacher. my mom, however, is very chatty when she's with them, and so i prefer her to be present when its a meet the teachers session. oh well, if he comes then he comes and there's nothing i can do about it.
came home and read more of frankie. dry dry dry book.
i can't really think straight now, and i can only think about how annoying the following week will be. firstly, because there is a malay test on monday. test + malay = very big disaster. i've never passed ANY malay test (except for the o lvl paper and my primary school malay) well before, unless its because i'm extremely lucky and the words that i tikam actually were right.
another test is also up next week, though it isn't really annoying me, rather, its making me nervous. Literature. i'm afraid i won't do well. or rather, i want to do well. i hope i do well. what i've heard people say is that it isn't likely that someone without 3 months will do well. i still pray i do well.
no more presentations up next week. thank gdness. something to look forward to. 2.4 is next week also. i hope ms tan lets me run, i really want to, though i know i'm not part of napfa, i still want to. let me know my timing at least, i don't need all that position stuff.
homework this weekend isn't as much as i thought it would be. so i have time to study! at last. i've been swimming in paper the entire week, so i really do struggle for study time.
i'm not really enjoying my time at home anymore as much as i used to. i feel like i should be somewhere else. i can't really describe how it feels, but i can say that it does make me cranky at times. sometimes things just annoy me terribly, and the things some people say make me incredibly huffy and defensive, which gets me into trouble. maybe its because i'm tired. but for now, i want to spend more time in school instead of at home. i do remind myself that the walls i build around me will not just keep the bad things out, but the good as well. build partial walls, they are easy to climb over when i get too lonesome.
i'm settling in at school, and i find the j2s making me feel totally discouraged. i still plough through my work, hopefully getting somewhere, and hoping that i get decent marks for my tests. but they all tell me that i won't get what i hope for. somehow, it makes me feel like giving up. but i'm not. if i fail, nevermind. i will try the next time to pass. and i'll try harder and harder till i get what i want. i may not feel like i may be doing something worthwhile now, but i know my parents think i am, and therefore, i must not let them down.
one issue i'm concerned about is sleep. i wish i had 40 winks, but sadly i only have 10 to spare. and the other 30 is used up instead when i'm trying to complete tutorials and presentations. and lookie here....its only the beginning. i foresee a bleak year before me, and an even worse one ahead.
one sees beauty when one wants to? crap. things that are so beautiful at times get ugly because of the fact that they are beautiful. it's not that we say it isn't beautiful, its just that its too beautiful.
did a handwriting analysis and found it rather incorrect except for this one part :
Marlina has emotions that are always at the extremes. Marlina is either very elated, or very depressed. that partially true. ok so its true that when you see me i'm either elated of depressed. well, it did miss out one part, very pissed. hah. and sometimes i'm neither this nor that, like now. i'm not unhappy, but not incredibly happy. so there.
end here. tomorrow is sunday, means i put on face paint and go to war, as i do every sunday. or i could alternatively bury myself in work so that i don't need to go to war. i think i prefer the latter, my room needs some peace and quiet once in a while.
going to get 40 winks this time. toodles
marlz
5/14/2005 02:01:00 ip.