marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
perjantaina, toukokuuta 20, 2005
ohm
i'm a befuddled lump of....something. whatever it is, no one is as befuddled as me. lol. blur miss sunshine.
friday. fridays mean pe, mt and 2 periods of GP. i agree wholeheartedly with ms lai that mj is a hot place. i remember last year, when i came for the open hse, that i was roasting away. prcs feels as if its air conditioned in comparison to mj. so i melted in the assembly plaza during the flag raising.
mt was lesson observation, so i tried my very best to speak malay without that mat saleh accent that i have. so cacaaaat!! we were discussing teenage pregnancy, and ms lai sat in. i doubt ms lai speaks malay, so i gather that she was rather alarmed when only one familiar word kept surfacing during the class discussion : seks/sex. me and ferrino (the one with the rose tinted glasses. literally) were laughing away. in the end, she asked our group what we were discussing and we put her at ease by telling her the topic. so comical. =)
pe was stupid. i wanted to run, but no one wanted to run with me, so i threw a "tantrum" and the j2s who passed by wondered what i was doing with that towel of mine. (lol, actually, benny saw me and kinda laughed) but then we ended up discussing the class tee for learning journey, and went for badminton. that was fun.
today was a bright bright day because.....mrs logan praised my effort for the gp essay! i finished the entire essay, while everyone else only managed to finish 2 or 3 paragraphs, and she marked it on the spot for me. i'm really happy because i didn't do well for my gp tests so far, and that she said i had done everything right this time. with heart as light as light can be i skipped my way to whitesands with my classmates.
i spent the rest of my day reading. and reading. and reading. and reading. and then i walked around, went to the library and read some more. and some more. until i found marilyn bent over a book in some corner alone, so i went there to have a chat. shoot me lar, chat in the library, but i don't care.
then band. looking forward to it all week (dreading also lar, but hey, it made my week fun). we got our forms for genting. joel said his last piece, and then the exco nomination results. and i realised how accurate my bones are, cos i didn't get in. everyone was sweet abt it, and asked me whether i was ok and whether i was going to cry, but nope, i feel happy. a weird reaction for someone who's been "rejected" in a way, i know, but i can't help it, once miss sunshine, always miss sunshine. besides, i have my reasons as to why this should be taken positively and not something to cry over. well, i admit was kinda disappointed initially because i really did want to take up a post(i felt my face go hot *oops*) BUT aft 5 minutes i felt the heat subside, and i suddenly felt happy. i was ok because :
1. i expected it (my dear bones let me know)
2. i think the people who got in are good ppl, and are going to lead us well.
3. i know i don't need a post to contribute to the band, and i can still go around doing little things that help us as a whole
4. i'm terrified of ms sia and being in the exco means interacting with ms sia often, so its a blessing, not a bad thing.
5. (and this is the most important one) i trust my band and their decision.
i sat for awhile, and looked at the other "rejected nominees". and i asked around whether they were ok. i know some of them aren't, and my thoughts now lie with them.
its probably for the best anyways, since i'm so work laden. i'll appreciate the free time ( or the free-er time since i'm not that free anyways). most of my sadness i felt (if i was sad, though i don't think i was)was because of the fact that it was a sad to hear the current exco and j2 batch say their last goodbye. esp the "band dismissed" from joel, which sounded particularly forlorn. i'll miss you ppl many many many many, and though i just entered band, and i hardly know you, its you who inspired
me not to just stay in the band, but also in mjc.
but back to miss sunshine. *grins like a cheshire cat*. yep, i'm happy today. i found a good good chat mate in band, melissa. we hardly had any interaction in the past, but we really connected today. something just went *click*. perhaps it was our concern for this one particular individual, i don't know what it was, but well, we just connected. went out for dinner together and talked alot abt (well, what else) band, and our lessons. we were there for around 3 hrs just talking, and then i came home. very tired.
oh ya, so sad to know tt ppl think of me as someone wishy washy, who cries easily. ok, so i do cry when i'm stressed, but i don't think i'm sensitive to the point that it becomes overly sensitive. wishy washy. bleah. to think i that i rather have boys in my section last time because their easy to teach due to the fact that girls are too wishy washy. *frowns*. marlz you befuddled mess you.
tricia told me to tell seamonster abt that thing and ask how he feels abt it. but i'm afraid. she told me, he might be avoiding telling me because he's afraid of my reaction. then we'd be just passing each other by. but what if seamonster really is indifferent to it. i fear the latter is true. should i tell sea monster or not, considering the fact that he's graduating this year. i don't knooooowww.....
and so another week has ended. contemplating coming to school tml to cram for econs test. seems like no one else is coming. see how it goes tml morning. feel like going, or i'll flunk the next test. AGAIN. i'm sick of flunking econs. i want to past at least one test and prove my worth. its annoying that whole subject. why why why must i take econs. *sighs* but i must study. and complete my tutorials tomorrow. so that i can sleep longer on sunday and monday.
reading is fun. but reading too much makes you muddle headed. don't read too much in a day.
and so i end my post here. hardly anything to read, but i'll come up with something better tomorrow. =) toodlez...
my cup of happiness has just brimmed and overflowedmarlz
5/20/2005 01:20:00 ip.