I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

lauantaina, toukokuuta 07, 2005

of red houses and profound english

couldn't resist the temptation to blog while doing my king lear presentation prep. i so love lit, but even i need a break aft 8 straight hours of it ok.

so what happened today. hmm, i woke up and suddenly remembered that we got a gold (AGAIN) for syf. i'm going to talk abt band until the ppl in class will be able to recite after me, phrase by phrase.

this morning i was reminded alot of jon jon. why? because i've been thinking abt crestwinds for some time now and of course, i think abt my dearies in the clar section, esp my twin bro and my original partner-in-crime. and also since it is a lovely morning, and he taught me this really lame but cute thing.

"it was a lovely and bright sunday morning, when suddenly.........BOOM....it was a lovely and bright sunday morning"

lame. i know. but i love my section and their craziness. (though i pray hard that they get rid of the maggie mee in the clar cupboard and tidy it up. i don't want my section to be thought of as the UNTIDY section.) so ya. thats jon jon for you. sigh. miss him and fateen and haz terribly. now its only jon left.

i digress yet again. back to TODAY. well, i woke up bcos vanessa called to remind me that the king lear presentation was up on tues and the lit department has a no-tolerance thing for tardiness, so we had to meet up today and do it. or at least, do it half way. to err is human, to forgive is definitely NOT mj's vocab k. so there, had to do something abt it.

so i got ready, rushed down to tamp library to meet alan, nursila, radiah and vanessa, only to find that i was waiting for them at the wrong place for a full 20 minutes. ok lar, eric, i know, i'm the ultimate sotong, but i'm your SISTER SOTONG, so you have to bear with me regardless. lalala...

alan was kind of late and when he finally arrived we made our way to bk to complete our assignment. was very fun. though it was work, and it tired us out, it was still fun. i love my classmates. whoots.

i really really feel very sorry for king lear and cordelia. i mean, most of my grp members haven't really read thru the play yet, so they don't really know what happened, which makes it difficult for them to be empathetic towards the 2 characters. they think that lear is loony and cordelia is stubborn. but quite frankly, its just plain unfortunate that both of them end up dying for no particular reason. but then again, it wouldn't be a tragedy if they didn't die. sad lar, but what to do.

that endless, merciless, ruthless pounding. never shall i sleep another wink without hearing it, over and over in my head. and so i rise from my slumber, shaken.

i listen. but all i hear is silence. that pregnant, stifling, suffocating silence. where is that pounding coming from? why does it bother me so?

eyes, gleaming, unfriendly eyes everywhere. cold harsh stares. they hurt me. like knives they pierce my heart. little stabs that cut me. eat me whole and alive. piece by piece, they devour me from inside.

i look. but all i see is emptiness. alone. that darkness that was once so comforting now hurts me. but why? pray, tell me why, do you keep me within your trappings.

my heart's as light as light can be. don't ask me where the above stuff came from, obviously somewhere from the inside of my head, but for what reason i don't know. esp since i've been so blessed these past few weeks. tired and sick, but blessed nonetheless.

and so its back to Lear and the King of France.

dickory hickory hock, teh clouse ran up the mock. :) toodles ppl

marlz

lauantaina, toukokuuta 07, 2005

of red houses and profound english

5/07/2005 02:17:00 ip.

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