I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, toukokuuta 23, 2005
naught
badminton was a full 4 hrs of well...badminton and chuckles, giggling, laughing till we nearly wet our pants. what do you expect when a group of really crazy, sunshiney girls decide to turn up for a game together. i swear, the hyperness has something to do with prcs.
and so i found out today that my poly friends from tp are starting school tml. no more hols ppl, so i hope you enjoy school. and how dare you not turn up for jam and hope, horrible sinners *glares*
well, aft much laughs and playing, we settled down for a lil break and discussed school. qiqi seems quite disappointed with her choice in subjects and jc. i feel guilty, as a friend, not being able to do anything abt it. begone, dull care! hah. as if that will help anything. hope you settle into school and feel happy there soon ok *huggles*
the game lasted quite long, we started at 4 pm and i got home around 8.30. my muscles are aching, but hey, i had loads of fun. *smiles*
i feel reluctant to return back to school tomorrow. especially since i have ECONS tml. a weekend without econs was heavenly, but i suppose i have to get back to it sooner or later.
i smile. hope to be like you. but my efforts are all for naught. for that is but an illusion. nothing but a watery image. mirrored in a pond. should i touch it, it will be gone.
amidst that cacophony, the disquietude that surrounds, resides an empty, paper heart. it lies silent. what secrets it hides within its complicated folds, i know not. nor does anyone else, but its owner.
velvet curtains. what exists beyond its thick and glorious ensconcement? a play, unseen, unknown to all. scene by scene, wraithlike actors pass. a veiled routine, that crowds pass by.a mass of words, that none fathom. not for you to understand, for its only a means for me to get rid of pent-up emotions. perhaps, some ppl might find me withdrawn at times. how can i help entertaining a flurry of thoughts, that pass by at the speed of lightning. no, i'm not sad, not in any way. thats why i'm little tall miss sunshine. but i cannot resist the temptation to sit and mull over things, ponder over my very existance, my purpose in life. and after i've had that little rest on the rock at the side of the highway, i pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue my ride to my destination, whistling a cheerful tune. like ET told me once, i'm my best friend and my worst enemy. most of the time, i'm the former, but when i turn on myself, i cannot move on until that internal conflict has been settled. i don't see a path that stretches out before my feet into the horizon, but one that has many bends and kinks. whatever, i don't think anyone gets what i'm saying anyways.
anyhoos, its back to econs and that mango cheesecake that's setting in the fridge. toodles~
marlz
5/23/2005 01:37:00 ip.