I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

torstaina, toukokuuta 05, 2005

i'm so happy!!!

today was D day. yep. syf central judging for jc bands, meridian jc was band number 4. first entry band.

WE GOT A GOLD WE GOT A GOLD WE GOT A GOLD WE GOT A GOLD WE GOT A GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

being tired and miserable was part of syf, only that this time it was so much more worth it. aft the tears, tossing and turning, trying to adapt quickly to a new instrument, scoldings, pracs that never seemed to end, and giving it our all, we finally got what we wanted. so happy so happy so happy.

when i first appeared in the morning, i was fine. just very uncomfy in that uniform. then we went to sch. stress. emotional turmoil. i felt defeated. like, suddenly, i felt i couldn't do it. and yes, i was scared. thank you to lisa, charity, felicia, teresa, wei jie, fu quan and joel for trying to cheer me, esp since i was so difficult to cheer.

outside the hall, even more scared. i was on the verge of tears, but i tried to keep them frm flowing. and so we went on stage and sat down. i looked up and had the shock of my life. i took a glance at the judges, just out of curiosity and was startled when i realised that Mr Nonami-san was an adjudicator. i stared at him for quite sometime, not believing my eyes. i mean, Nonami-san, that person who taught me how to bend notes and the proper way to tongue, took my previous band for sessions. that Nonami-san was sitting up there, getting ready to listen to us. but i had to stop thinking abt that since ms sia was up on stage.

quite frankly, i felt very let down and upset aft performing. i felt (and still sort of feel) that i under performed. i squeaked a number of times, came in wrongly at some parts, and i also played wrong notes at certain points. how upsetting. i admit that i cried lar ok, and ya, thanks esp to joel for trying to comfort me. really really appreciate it. =) so then we went back into the hall to listen to the other bands. was sleepy thru most of it, though i did sit up in my chair when pj played their choice piece which i think is super nice. (though felicia doesn't agree since the ending is abrupt). we then went back to mj to keep our instruments. our section went for lunch, intending to go together, but bcos i'm always the odd one out (for being muslim) we ended up splitting into 2 separate grps. by then i felt much much better, and was as hyper as usual. fun fun fun.

at 3.45 we went to SCH to listen to the results. saw chuen yang and he gave me a reassuring pat on the back. gee, thanks cy *huggles* been some time since i see you right...miss our crapping in mep. gave a hug to michelle also, and i also said hi to zhi mei. we thought the entire band was going into the hall to listen to results, but somehow 3 ppl who werent supposed to be there got in, and left the other ppl out. thank gdness there was this one place left, so joel went in.

a whole grp of us went away frm there cos it was going to be super noisy if we stayed in that crowded area, and we moved towards the area behind the stage entrance. and by some stroke of luck, we were allowed inside, into the gallery. was very much like surround sound. screams frm left, right and center, at ANY mention of mj's name. i was very nervous before we got the results, esp when they said that hcjc got silver. but when we got a GOLD (yep G-O-L-D) we just erupted into screams of joy. so happy. ya, so we didn't get the Gold with Honours, but i think we really did do as well as we could.

cheers cheers and also tears of joy when we came out. i find it very sweet that soem guys cried (last time sallehin, my DM previously, also cry bcos he was happy, was very sweet). i got a rose! my first ever rose aft performance. so nice. and we were hugging and shaking hands, congratulating each other.

i may be a pure freshie to band, but i still love mjcsb alot. and i really must thank and congratulate the following ppl for a job well done.

the band exco, particularly those who have encouraged me and the band to FOCUS and stay on track.

the clarinet section. the funnest section around. even for those ppl who did not play on stage today, you made a diff, and we definitely wouldn't have gotten that gold without you all.

the teachers. always understanding and encouraging.

the alumni for their support. though i don't really know them, i still find the support very very very very very very encouraging.

and i'm so happy i don't know how to even phrase my sentences correctly. my sentence structure has gone zoink.

and so the day is drawing to a close. its sad, the fact that its ending and that its over, but i'll remember today always. one of the happiest things that has ever happened in my entire life. so happy so happy so happy.

God bless MJCSB!

marlz

torstaina, toukokuuta 05, 2005

i'm so happy!!!

5/05/2005 03:24:00 ip.

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