marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, toukokuuta 09, 2005
bio, chem and physics
a day where i actually get home before 7. bliss! *sighs contentedly* yea, so i have tutorials to complete and essays to write, but i got home before 7...finally
i really really do regret being in the pure science class in prcs. ok, to some extent, it wasn't really very taxing since o levels is about memory work and basically nothing else, especially so in a pure science class. i had my best 2 years, in terms of experience in 4/6, and i absolutely adored everyone that was part of it. but i do wonder, whether i would have been better off in the lit class. well, that really doesn't matter. the prime reason why i regret being in 4/6 is because i still live as a 4/6ian now. old habits die hard. take a look at the examples below.
1. yesterday i was sitting in the livingroom when i caught a whiff of this pungent smell coming from outside and immediately identified it as none other than that 'charmed' gas, AMMONIA. and i actually told my mother, "hmm, how nostalgic". *barfs* thats sick. really. since when does AMMONIA register as NOSTALGIC.
2. students like lisa sleep in lectures when they are bored. what do weirdos like me do? become engrossed with finding the center of gravity for every article that i pick up. yep. everything, form the pen, to the ruler to the pencilbox and even the lecture notes. of course it ceases immediately when i fail to find the center of gravity for something particularly heavy, causing it to drop with a very loud clatter, thus attracting angry stares from people infront and to the sides of me. at that point, i start jotting down formulas to find moments.
3. i become intensely annoyed when anyone says that weight is measured in kilograms. for gdness sake, get it into your head, weight and mass are two totally different things altogether. F=ma, can? or are you just too dense to register?
4. i sit in malay class and comment on how a heart should be drawn, since the muscle on the left side is thicker, and the left ventricle needs to pump blood through the body at a higher pressure compared to the right ventricle, where the blood gets pumped to the lungs only.
5. i still look at my junior's notes and tell her that effervescence is due to the production of carbon dioxide, not because of oxygen, and that is the reason why such a reaction happens very quickly. i may be out of touch when it comes to chem-misery, but i still remember stuff, and even can (to the dismay of my sister) recite step-by-step how to do a proper titration.
get my drift? its terrible, of course, and it annoys some people out of their wits, but generally, i'm trying to rid myself of the o level science stuff. it does help, to some extent, esp when it comes to physical geography (particulate theory of matter) but other than that, i find that its sorta cramping my style. how, you ask? well, i can't really explain but ask any other pure sc student who moves into the arts stream. its really irritating, not just for the people who are around you, but to yourself.
i've a mountain of work to conquer later, but for now i shall rest my tired limbs and have a little (and very well-deserved) breather. looks like i have to pick up frankie again and put my reading of dracula hold bcos of a test next week. and tomorrow i have a geog test as well. and another geog test on wednesday. the agony! will it never end?
things at home have sort of settled. but i feel that its the calm before the storm. really i do feel sad over that whole incident yesterday, and that she feels that way, but i shy away from them because i have no idea what to say, and i feel like whatever i say is just something to please her. it isn't the same like before. seriously, video conferencing is no substitute to being with a person one on one. the difficulties in conveying what you're really thinking and feeling are far to great to even consider something like that a substitute to seeing, feeling, just knowing that the person is near. for me, when we were together, as a threesome, silence was enough. we could calmly sit on the couch and watch the snowflakes drift slowly down, or take a silent walk, enjoying the cold fresh air, embracing that calm around us instead of marring it with speech. but with VC, i'm expected to speak. and it hurts me even more, when i know that she knows and he knows that speaking isn't really my thing. when i write down my feelings, i truly do pour everything out, but when i speak, i worry over what i have said, and whether it was the right thing to say. and then there's pressure from the parents. somehow, it isn't the same. not unless we meet and talk like before, but that likelyhood of doing that anytime soon is definitely non existant. i don't know. i really don't.
so my heart is somewhere in my boots right now. enough of that. time to swallow a mug of coffee, and rest awhile before starting on my work. *sighs* if only things weren't so complicated.
major head ache now, and ya, i kind of lost the mood to blog already. oh well, might as well start now. better earlier than later. toodles ppl. have a nice night
marlz
5/09/2005 11:08:00 ap.