I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

sunnuntai, toukokuuta 08, 2005

ardworking

its one of those days where my hands aren't tired, and so i sit down to post again. ok. i admit. i post only when i have a last piece of work and i'm just too bored to complete it, and hope that it grows wings and flies away, or that my doppelganger turns mischevious and takes it away.

yes people, i've been immersed in lit, lit and more lit. better than being immersed in econs, econs and more econs. simple reason being that i hate econs and i love books. lear is finally tackled! just have to put it together, rehearse the thing once through and attack the class on tuesday. how fun. i love attacking the class.

i realise that most of my posts end up being very very random. i set out to post about something,and i just end up posting something else. typical me. oh. that reminds me about how i took another personality test. i never get enough of it although i just KNOW the answer will be the same. test number 1. INFP. test number 2. INFP. test number 3. INFP. and today's test....surprise surprise...INFP. so i surrender. no more personality tests for me (or at least for the rest of the year). i'm an INFP. darn, and i thought i might be something more exciting. *pouts*

i suddenly feel very sad, because i realise my english has deteriorated significantly and that i have hardly ANY vocabulary. quite frankly, my italian terms word bank is larger than my english word bank. must must read more. if i can squeeze in the time that is. no wonder i have hardly anyone reading, except for ppl who just are nice enough to want to know how i'm feeling, or those who come just for the sake of criticizing me. for that, i thank God i'm an INFP. INFPs are ppl who can tell you what they think, yet not really provoke you. so there, you'll hardly find anything to criticise here unless its my language ability. must must read more.

watched another Micheal Moore documentary. yes ANOTHER. my first was Bowling for Columbine, today was that 911 show. anyhooos, my conclusion was that Micheal Moore sure knows how to get himself into trouble. in a sense, i do agree that the american government is trying to shove freedom down the throats of lesser developed countries. look, if they don't want to be free, why should you bother? just let them be, have a chat once in awhile and try hinting to them that freedom is the way to go, and if they still don't accept it, then well, what can you do besides go on your way and try to be friends. acceptance and tolerance. definitely something that i place way up there on my list of ideals. perhaps its because i come from an inter racial marriage, and i am what you may call a mongrel (aka the one who doesn't fit in anywhere). ppl are different, they think differently, but they are humans. if you can't accept the way they think, at least try accepting them as humans. i mean, isn't that what you're supposed to do as a human being? but, since i have actually no say in it, i shall refrain from commenting even more. i'm kind of tired of this whole "is america really a great nation" debate. my dad can continue that for you if you like.

i wouldn't just comment on america without touching on the whole world, because, like it or not, america is part of our world. all i can say abt the entire issue is that the world is losing its innocence. just as a child grows up and learns how to honey his words, and starts looking at things differently, becomes "mature", the world is also maturing. society is maturing. it can be considered a good thing, or a bad thing, but that is, essentially, up to each individual to decide. the innocence and simplicity of childhood, or maturity, wisdom that makes things so complicated in adulthood? really, its a question of what you prefer. its inevitable that the world starts to mature, but is it possible to keep things as simple as it can while we mature? that we still retain some of that simplicity that we had as world before?

ok ok, enough of the rhetorical questions. i'm in the mood to brood today. that sounded weird. mood to brood. actually it sounded weird, in a cool way. so i'm weird today. then again, am i not weird everyday? *laughs*

why i take geography? because the environment is so much easier to talk about compared to talking abt people. it never provokes anyone, and when you do run out of people to talk to, you can turn, look at a stone and start a very one sided conversation on how it has developed with it. how fun. :)

yet again, i sit alone in a dark and quiet house during the witching hour, thinking of what might happen if something unheimlich might happen. i have quite the imagination don't i? bad bad bad girl, stop your infatuation with the creatures of the night. oh well, i guess i better be off to sleep, i have school tomorrow *cheers softly*. toodles ppl, have a great night's sleep

marlz

sunnuntai, toukokuuta 08, 2005

ardworking

5/08/2005 03:19:00 ip.

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