I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
keskiviikkona, huhtikuuta 13, 2005
blood donation drive
today was generally ok. shall not go into the details of my utterly and hopelessly mundane life. anyways, one gd thing which happened was that i finally got my blood donation parents' consent form signed. so its all clear and full steam ahead for me.
talking abt moving ahead. syf for mjcsb is in around 3 weeks time. terrifying. its a very scary knowing that i can hardly play well enough to pass for a school performance, and that syf is that near. the problem is that there is only one of me, or rather, one person holding the E flat alto clar part, who is none other than yours truly. (duh) so i have to push myself doubly hard. i don't want the band to go in with a half-baked alto clarinettist. not even a three-quaters-baked alto clarinettist. depressed. very depressed. i seriously do. i dunno if i should pull out. Gold with Honours is a very very big thing for them. i'm just pulling them back. how depressing. in the past i used to play solos without any problems. now i can't even get thru a part where the entire clar section is playing. what has become of me? coming back for help on fri, seniors said they'll try to help me improve. i hope they can, though i think they can't really do much to help. but thank you for being so supportive. i wholeheartedly appreciate it.
that also brings me to the next topic. crestwinds. tml, their big day. joel was talking to us abt orchid park sec today. congrats to them, Gold with Honours. my prediction for crestwinds when i last met them was high bronze or low silver. i hope they prove me wrong, cos i know what the school thinks of crestwinds. we're labelled the pests, the nuisance cca in school. the very first time we were given an opportunity to go for syf, we refused to go. mr goh said we weren't ready. absolutely true. the co sent their grp in regardless of the fact that they were very new and they came back with a silver. so we got sneered at. we bcame more of a pest. i recall, we din even have a real band room, we resorted to using com labs and shifting rooms frm time to time. finally the time came when we participated in syf. i remember a band camp that lasted for the entire week. i also recall having practices that lasted frm 7 in the morning to 6 in the evening. coming back for sectionals everyday. so we went, the day before co. i remember crying when i came off the stage, cos i was overwhelmed with relief and also happiness. the time i spent taking the section thru sectionals really payed off, (i was the sl then). i cheered and cried when we got a silver. why? bcos we wanted that silver. but the best part was that co, that went for a second time came back with a bronze. sofunsofunsofun.
and so the time has come where my juniors are now going for syf. some advice for all of you. sleep well tonight (i usually don't condone you guys not doing homework, but tonight, JUST TONIGHT, i make an exception. go ahead and sleep early, dun bother abt mugging and stuff like that) don't come late tml morning. don't piss your conductor off in the morning and make him reprimand you. a good start to the day is important. sit straight on stage. showmanship is also very important, though sound is what you need to focus on most. good showmanship makes you better, so remember not to be sloppy. its important to have eye contact with your conductor as well. you ppl are the first/second band in the morning. that can work against you or for you. the judges are more alert, so you must make no allowances. however, since they aren't that bored/tired yet, you do have an advantage. so make use of it. so i wish crestwinds all the best. don't let me down ok, you ppl are my baby project, which i've seen grow frm the start.
my back hurts. again. going to get some rest.
marlz
4/13/2005 11:10:00 ap.