I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here

I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.

As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.

Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.

But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.

To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are

<3 M

perjantaina, maaliskuuta 25, 2005

horrible dream

i'm starting to think that this is soo not my week.

most of you prolly know by now that i was posted to mjc. fine. or at least i thought. that very aftnoon i went to the cc to play badminton as one of the cc's exhibits for some visitors frm china. it was very fun, 3 hrs straight with pei shan, yun fang, eldora, jassamyn, chai yun david, adeline and mastura. ( i hope i din leave anyone out) but my heart fell when i found that no one else was posted to mj with me but rebecca, and even she was posted to the sc stream.

so yea, i was kinda disappointed. on wednesday i happened to be early to go to mj. and i felt super uncomfy when i saw the amt of ppl stare at me. its normal, esp in singapore, but this time, i really felt very uncomfortable. darn it darn it. so i checked my orientation group and then proceeded to hang around a pillar. i stood just where no one could see me. but someone did. i'm so happy that she did. charlyn, my primary school friend. she came over, and we stuck together for a while. and i saw from afar, a prcs uniform. so i squinted, trying to make out who it was. and i did, it was none other than rebecca, and she came over. so then charlyn, myself and rebecca were hanging around there, and rebecca told me that wee cheng was in that school and that he was posted to the arts stream.

the OGLs for my grp Alhena were super cool. they were really enthu frm the start. but us being us, the enthusiasm did not rub off on us. just as we were heading up to introductory lectures, i saw wee cheng and said hi. aft that pt, things started getting really really depressing.

so basically all the lecturers said that ppl like me, who did not or could not turn up for the 3 months, were not going to make it. every single one. except the lit one.
it was very hard to swallow. i mean, i know, i haven't done the 3 months, but i haven't even tried and they tell me that i can't make it. me and rebecca were bummed aft the whole day when we took the bus together. i can't begin to imagine how wee cheng made it through the first three months. kudos to him man, really.

my mom told me that its fine if i appeal for tpjc, so i did. see how it goes, if i'm still left in mj, then so be it. i'll try my best to prove them wrong. if not, then i'll be doing the same in tpjc. and that makes me wonder, how come, since i put tpj as 3rd choice (arts) i din get in, and got posted to mj instead though it was a later choice. oh well, nvm. what will be will be.

thats over with the terrible first day part.

last night i had the worst dream. i dreamt that eric yelled at me. my gdness, so far, we haven't even argued once in the this friendship. i hope it stays that way. when i woke up i was so relieved it was a dream. the closest 2 friends i have now are eric and huda, and i can't imagine if even one of them were taken away for something bad happened to them. or even if we argued. that dream really shocked me out of my sleep. hope something like that NEVER happens.

i'm still aching bcos of badminton. but aching bcos of badminton rocks. lol.

till i find something cheerful abt today ~

marlz

perjantaina, maaliskuuta 25, 2005

horrible dream

3/25/2005 04:33:00 ap.

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