I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
lauantaina, tammikuuta 01, 2005
höh!
new years eve yesterday. well, 2005 was already in singapore 6 hrs before it was in finland. no matter. still new year isn't it? so. yesterday morning my stomach was feeling funny. i sorta ignored it and headed to Wolkoff's with isoäiti and säsä. gosh. BAD MISTAKE. i nearly vomited there. so i just endured until isoäiti and säsä had finished their meal and i went home with säsä. thank gdness i have a sensible mother (hehe) who bought me a small bottle of medicated oil to bring to finland. reached for that first. so i laid in bed feeling really unwell when isoäiti came back with some medicine. something like Eno. it tasted awful, but i gulped it down bravely and then went to bed for some time. when i woke up i had an awful headache. talked awhile with isoäiti and then went to watch some tv with säsä. continuation of some war story. there was loads of noise coming frm outside since ppl were playing with fireworks. the new year's town fireworks were cancelled due to the tsunami and all proceed were given to the earthquake and tsunami victims. so ppl went out and bought their own fireworks. so fun. they lit the sky the entire night. purple and green and red and yellow. and all we had to do was sit in the living room and watch them. so nice. there were many youngsters out on the street singing and laughing and playing with sparklers. watched some other show but was forced to abort mission half way since my headache was getting worse and my stomach was acting up again. bad start to the new year. swallowed an aspirin and went to sleep.
and so i woke up this morning at 9.45. with my headache. stomach still feeling odd but its not aching. no fever. watched Up North. and then here i am blogging. i'm beginning to think oke's bdae card really got lost in transit. höh. typical.
the older ones. unwise. those who let paper and metal rule their lives. the gatherers. not for good cause nor for leisure. they have to, or so they tell themselves. with minds twisted and hearts poisoned.
the young ones. full of promise. unseen. unheard. they understand. they know. every word that passes their lips is dismissed. ignored. called naive. the pure. the innocent. the unfortunate ones. disregarded. laughed at.
the silent ones. the ones who blend in. still. quiet. but they scream inside. their souls trapped in a shell. driven into hiding by the ppl around. their mouths seamed shut. lips immobile. but their inner voices still carry on. driving them slowly to madness. shunned. teased. disturbed.
the loud ones. hollow as tin. repetition. like a parrot, they repeat after you. word for word. no words of their own. they copycats. imitators. they mimic. what good do they bring? none. a echo or someone whom they admire.
what a pitiful world we live in. ignore the wise. consult the fools. dismiss the strong. heed the weak.
1/01/2005 10:03:00 ap.