I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
sunnuntai, tammikuuta 09, 2005
dream
so i had a very weird dream last night. woke up feeling confused. but i won't describe it since its a sensitive issue. i still wonder why.
i got the sweetest and nicest surprise when i woke up this morning. really made my day all bright and cheery despite the horrid night's sleep. i went to check my mail and i found an e-card sent by andrew. and not only did he send a card, he attached a lovely messasge as well. wheeee. really, it was such a sweet thing to do.
so this is to andrew:
you deserve what you sent me when i come back. and thank you sooo much for that sweet surprise. *huggles*
noora and sonja came back early frm the party. they brought their cuzzies. well, i had just woken up and then i got to know that they were coming when they opened the door. argh. i hate surprise guests. really really hate it when there is surprise guests. i tried to layan them but me being me, i just couldn't be bothered aft the hellos. grumpy. so ya i was grumpy, but i'm not a morning person. it wasn't anyone's fault that i was asleep so i just kept out of their way. and i watched the continuation of the King Henry story. love history shows. noora asked me if i'd like to play trivial pursuit with them but i declined. just couldn't be bothered. and they hung around so long too. bad combination. so i sorta just stayed in the room and let them play it out. they prolly got a bad impression of me, but i don't really care. so here's to all the potential guests in singapore. CALL BEFORE YOU COME. and if i just woke up, don't expect me to talk to you, even if i am serving you.
then well, i just slept in the living room and such. since leena täti and mikko setä occupied my room. so sickening that i can't go out. its slippery and its raining.
the wind makes me want to go out. it intrigues me. i love the way it tosses things around. i delight in the way it lifts the hair from my eyes. sea breeze. it calls to me. the cold wind. it calms me. somehow i feel its silly to write down abt my fascination with the wind. in some ways, its more than words. wonder why i like being at the beach or at the habour front here? its the wind.
woke up early. hardly had sleep. the wind. it was howling. as if it was lonely and beckoning me to go outside and play. its dangerous, that wind. and there was even a myrsky varoitus. but somehow i want to play, though i know the hazards.
it was that dream. of the smile. and the wind. it spoke to me as if it were you.
1/09/2005 07:59:00 ap.