I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, joulukuuta 09, 2004
slap slap slap
*slaps herself* marlz, you gotta get real. think awhile. stop and stand. i don't care how and where. just stop and think. get real get real.
note to self : slap marlz more often.
the reason for that, i'm not going to tell. i've just realized something. i've let something get on, and its gone too far. its nothing to do with family, its nothing to do with finland or the ppl i met here, and nothing to do with friends. but its something abt me. i've gotta think awhile. dun ask me whats wrong. or whats bothering me. no pt asking bcos i won't tell. the end of this issue on this blog is at the following full stop.
i might as well just update. so well, yest. cleaned up awhile. dusted the mats. vacuumed. mopped. wiped. blah blah. then Suvi, isi's old friend's daughter came to fetch me at 2.30. talked awhile at home then we gals went shopping. yep, she had some christmas pressies to search for and also i had this bag in mind that i wanted to buy for nona. so well, we went round town. walk here and there. had a blast trying hats on. and also we looked at clothes. had this great discussion on how often i wear black, which is, almost always. sure, i can fancy clothes of various colours, but i'm nv brave enough to don them. so i stick to black. and black is ok on me too. we're good buddies now. haha.
we also went to the kirpputori and marimekko shop. well. i thought of getting a marimekko bag for nona. but the thought was chased far far away aft i discovered the price of a marimekko bag. seriously, if you want one, then you wouldn't want to know the price. and i shall not shatter the dreams of the many girls and women who desire such a bag. so i shan't reveal it. continue dreaming, and then aft you've had your fill of that, then check out its price.
so we went to a couple of stores twice. finally, i decided on this fuschia bag that big, but not oversized. and it did cost me some money, but well, its worth it. guess she'll like it too. suvi bought some socks for her mom and dad as xmas presents at marimekko and also a pair of black pants for herself.
we contemplated going to this place near rosso's called coffee house for some, well, coffee. but aft i remembered how much it cost my classmates on the previous night out, we headed to a pretty safe venue. macdonalds. seriously, what the mac serves here is diff from what the mac serves there. i mean, in singapore you have the Big Mac. fair enough. guess what i discovered here. the Big Big Mac and the Grando El Maco. haha. what an upgrade. then there was also the McRuis and goodness knows what else. the toilets aint free either. talk abt high cost of living. so we both bought McFlurries. same name, same ice cream, different flavour. i had licourice! isi's gonna be so jealous. chatted awhile and then we went home, invited her up and she looked at some photos, then had tea and a chat with isoäiti. she decided to go home and her mom was picking her up at the library so i accompanied her there and waited with her. and i do know my way already around this town, so i won't get lost ok? aiyoh.
was very warm last night. i was sweating in my room. so very irritating. got school today, kinda late in the aftnn, don't really have to bother abt waking up too early. i guess i'll end the update here.
you told yourself, not to get caught up in it and you didn't. you separated yourself from those ppl as much as possible. cut all communication btw them off. you let it stop then and there. or so you thought. pushing away one problem, and blocking it out, claiming it was non existant. it only brought on a bigger problem. and you cann't block this one. its impossible, and it is not within your power to. how could you claim that you were problem free? how could you claim you were ok? that small little problem you had. you kept it to yourself. you thought it nothing compared to the previous one. but it grew my friend, and now its something you can't handle at all. what can you do? what can i do? sit back and let it grow some more? or try fruitlessly, to right it?
12/09/2004 08:20:00 ap.