I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
sunnuntai, joulukuuta 12, 2004
questions
questioning myself :
am i alone?
if i'm not alone, why do i think i'm alone?
do adults feel alone too, or is this supposed to be a phase that i'm going through?
am i supposed to think this much as a kid?
am i far too mature for my age?
if not, why is it that ppl told me i'm far too mature for my age?
am i extroverted?
if so, why do i feel shy sometimes and why did my test results tell me that i'm introverted?
how come i don't like revealing too much abt myself, and keep posts vague?
how come i like to be secretive?
why do i be so nice sometimes when i should stand up for myself?
how come i feel that my family members saying 'i love you' to me is weird and unnatural?
is this another phase that i'm supposed to be going through?
are adults clearheaded or are they just as confused and muddleheaded?
how come i have clear priorities and that my friends say i'm clearheaded, but i feel the opposite?
how come i'm considered weird?
am i really that different, and if so, why don't i notice until i look into that shiny glass thing called the mirror?
do i really think that differently or do i just think differently from my friends?
how come i worry abt everything?
am i supposed to question myself this much?
or is it yet another phase teenagers are supposed to go through?
how come i don't know so much?
am i supposed to know this much?
or do i really know, but somehow can't retrieve the answer?
if anyone can come up with all the ans. pls contact me. if you read this and you don't know the ans yourself. then well, go and think, or if you find someone with answers, then contact me. thanks
12/12/2004 09:57:00 ap.