I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, joulukuuta 13, 2004
crummy
today was not as crummy as yesterday. but i shall explain why yesterday was crummy.
let me see...when i said, i question myself, i mean MYSELF. so i don't appreciate smart asses (this has nothing to do with haz an oke, just so the two of you know) giving me answers which are :
1. incomplete
2. not helping
3. meant to be humourous but aren't
4. just meant to irritate me
5. just given to show how much a smart aleck you are.
so leave off, i will not entertain you, or your stupid answers.
huda, i'm so sorry i bothered you like that yesterday. you were prolly busy or something, but i don't know how to work out what you told me to do. nv have been able to and also i don't think i ever will be able to.
but back to today. the less crummy and smartaleck-free day. the school day. the history day. the day i get to wear a turtle neck sweater. the day where i hardly entertained anyone online. trust my faithful companion called 'finland in the middle ages' to save me.
yesterday was my grandparents golden wedding anniversary. 50 years. thats a long time to last. well, they had a cake and all. not much done yesterday.
today, woke up late, arnd 10 am? then i went to shower, got dressed, went to school. ran to school. thought i was late again. i always forget that there is a 15 minute break between lessons. just as i reached the bridge, the church bell started to toll, and that meant it was 12 nn and i ran the way to school. only to find that the other students were standing in the hallway waiting for class to start and sipping coffee. coffee machine is outside the classroom. how convenient. and they can drink coffee in class. how nice. so anyways, 1 hrs of eng, 2 hrs of history. both were pretty great. have homework too. so nice to write an essay aft so long. i mean an eng essay. eng was fun, had a couple of listening tasks. then aft that had a 15 min break, then history, abt the middle ages. the thing thats fun abt history is that half of our class in not in the same city. the other half in in imatra and we are in lappeenranta. if you're not clear how far the cities are frm each other, look up the map of finland on the net. so we use video conferencing during the lesson. and then when the break comes. well you don't have to imagine what happens when the teacher leaves the room, and left the video conferencing equiptment and a bunch of 16 yr old kids together.
one word : chaos. but chaos as in fun chaos. they toyed around with the equiptment. look at the class in imatra, look at the ppl. zoom in at them. then they zoom in on they're own image in our classroom which was projected on the board. and they stared playing with their own image. and thats when the teacher walked in. the poor guy didn't notice and well, didn't know that we were laughing at him since the speaker was turned off.
history in the middle ages was particularly interesting. abt the Swedes and the fight over Finn land. the pagan Finland and the crusades to convert ppl, by the Orthodox church and the Roman Catholic church. and the Papal Bull. and the most important reason that the Vikings wanted Finland or wanted to rob Finland. guess what it was. squirrel skins. yep, we laughed over it. and had the funniest conversation abt it. i like the schooling system here. its easy on the brain. and you absorb much more. then i ran home. yep, ran. i have daily exercise. running. its slippery but i run. its not really exercise. running just feels good now. in the cold. i don't have to care abt whether i fall, i'm not afraid of falling. i just want to run. run and run and run. just like the thoughts run through my head.
well, here i am. waiting. what i'm waiting for i don't know.
i need to say to you bro, thank you. for all you've done. been there for me no matter what, and i can say that i really really appreciate it. thank you, alot. and i miss you too.
12/13/2004 01:42:00 ip.