I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, marraskuuta 29, 2004
piparkakku
i had the worst dream last night. dreamt of
HIM. i thought that was already over. i thought that at least, now that i'm far far away from there, i wouldn't be bothered by him anymore. that he wouldn't plague me in my dreams. i'm just afraid of going back and facing him. seeing him again. when it comes the day to go back and see my results, he'll be there again. i'll have to face him sooner or later. i hope its later. and since we are in the same neighbourhood. that makes it worse. gosh. gosh. gosh. DON'T THINK TOO MUCH!!!
worrywart.
yest we din go out in the aftnoon. i resolved to read my book at home. then in the evening we went to isi's old friend, Jamppo's, place. its really very very nice. they have a son and a daughter, Suvi and Juuso. Suvi is my sis age and Juuso is Kalle's age. anyways, isi's friend came over with his car to collect us. and then we went to their house. quite big. i first saw Juuso outside playing sähly/floorball. he's quite good. then we went in. they are all very nice ppl. we got to see they're house. then Juuso came in, and he acted exactly like my lil bro does when there are guests. he was really shy. went in to his room and started to play computer games alone. i drank some juice and we were offered some food. feta and veg pie, choc biscuits, and joulu torttu, which is this jam pastry, and pulla,or sweet buns. i tasted abit since i wasn't that hungry. went with Suvi into her room to chat. we talked abt school and the diff with finn and s'pore schools. aft that we went home. quite a nice visit.
today its a bit cold. i woke up kinda late since i stayed up to watch saving private ryan. there were finn subtitles and you know what. nothing is censored. so the whole thing is full length and every word and scene is in place. even those parts which would be censored off in s'pore. hehehehe.
today we're gonna make piparkakut. real nice.
to my dearez kor jac, well. i'm sorry. i really didn't know. but i'll try to contact you soon k?
to my dearez veli eric : congrats. really nice to hear that everything is going so well for ya.
to abg : you really shld stop passing messages through my sis. i sometimes don't believe her at all. but i did sleep ok. i did you know.
to sweetie huda : i miss you loadiez. I LOST YOUR ADDRESS! so sorry. pls pls give it to me again?
to the rest of the ppl : I MISS YOU GUYS!
and to my family : continue being nonsensical. and maybe, just maybe i'll bring something back home. everything so pensif!
till next time, tata
always,
marlz
11/29/2004 09:01:00 ap.