I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, lokakuuta 14, 2004
exhausted
exhausted. again. what can i say besides that i'm very very very tired. and also pissed. and also sad. and also in no mood to entertain anyone. so i stuck to my music the whole day. melody writing, then prac alone aft school. i feel more confident with benjamin accompanying me. at least i can be assured that i'm in good hands. i don't feel so small and alone anymore. and it helps. ALOT. so benjamin, though you may not be reading this, thank you. i see a hope now of not screwing up my practical bcos i'm afraid aft yesterday's prac with mr magic fingers. listening yesterday. dunno how it'll be, its just a prac, but prac is still impt to me. i was having a head ache. dunno how i'll do.
tml we have 4 free periods. what a waste of time. and i've completed my music assignments as well. so i have nothing to do. i finished chem tys. i've been doing bio mcq until i'm so sick of it. wrote an essay until i got bored of it bcos it was getting too long. did maths till i wanted to puke. phy hw was so horrible, i just did it anyways to kill time. and in the end, the only sub i didn't touch was humanities, and i don't feel like doing that for 4 periods tml. just wondering what i'm going to do during that time. and i'm ill as well. i wish to know how come i've had so much 'luck' over the past week. its making me inch closer and closer to the edge. and mind you, the progress aint slow.
so there. i'm in no mood to continue. feel uncomfy. my head feels light. means its time for more practice.
that person. go see my other blog. you'll find something there meant for you.
good nite. may i not see the morning come tml.
10/14/2004 02:33:00 ip.