I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
sunnuntai, lokakuuta 10, 2004
aiyoh
man, other ppl been blogging their gdbyes to their friends and school. well, i aint gonna do that. too bad, i don't even think i want to do that. friends? well, i can always contact them can't i? and on top of that, make new ones. school? its not as if it'll run away. sure, some teachers may not be there anymore but i don't think i'll really be bothered abt that. contact them otherwise. *shrugs* graduation nite? like i said, i might not even be here for it. so gdbyes? at this time? wake up honeys, i've already said my gdbyes long ago. perhaps you all didn't catch them, but i did. why? bcos i know aft this whole o lvls thing i'll be gone. somewhere else. who knows where i'll be. i'm not sad. its the moment i've been waiting for for the whole of this year. so yea. no gdbyes frm me. go ahead, think i'm cold and being indifferent. but thats how i am. none of you acherlie knew me. 'cept for maybe veli, kor and my abang. cookie's another one. other than that? no one. so don't say gdbye to someone you didn't take time to say hello to in the ferz place. bleah
when's huda gonna call me? we're due to go out today. gosh. pms alert. i'm in a bad mood. whats new. perhaps that short laling of mine can make me laugh. i wish i was mugging. but you know what? i've no mood. melody writing is killing me. i've no idea what to compose, and have no inspiration. so i doubt that a melody will come out right. or even sound like a melody. might as well title it 'cacophony'.
my tummy is aching. and my arms are aching. in fact, i'm aching all over. don't ask me why, maybe i slept in a awkward position last night. heck i don't know. i'm feeling bloated as well. like i'm full of water. swish swish. water retention is high. wish it'll go away soon.
what can i say. i'm bored. not only that, i'm cranky cos i have nothing to read and i don't feel like turning up tml, but i have to bcos we're getting our papers back for checking tml. no mood. really really no mood.
anger. its a dangerous thing. anger causes hate, hate causes destruction. call me dangerous. i'm angry. i'm angsty. i'm hateful. i'm destructive in nature. so call me dangerous. i feel fire within. i see darkness ahead. i taste blood on my lips. i hear screams and crying. i smell gunpowder. cavalry. clash of swords. the sun does not rise. the birds cry in fear. an rain falls, like acid, scorching their skin. we hate them. we hate them. we hate them for all they are. we kill. we destroy. call us dangerous.
10/10/2004 04:07:00 ap.