I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, syyskuuta 06, 2004
think too much?
school early in the morning....stayed awhile...did some stuf...wrote my essay...
i wrote something on paper dolls today...however, i decided not to publish it...reason being that well, i just don't feel like it...it somehow just doesn't feel right on this blog...
bitter? i don't know
her paper heart, complex folds, a cavity within, unfilled...some peepz who read it felt that what i meant was hidden somewhere within my words...others just asked for it...others misunderstood...no...i did not mean that i'm the puppet master...life...the unseen puppet master...controls our decisions, our emotions, affects us...that was what i meant...perhaps, one day, i might publish my paperdoll poem here...that is a huge maybe to consider...however, those who read it do understand, i hope...
metaphors...analogies...puns? i don't know...rambu said that i love them...i think i do...i appreciate the hidden meaning in anything i encounter...
well, someone said something abt me today...complex? i don't know...
questions...questions...why ask questions to which you know the answers? and why ask questions that cannot be answered? or is it just best to lay back and no worry about anything in the first place? accepting things as they come? i question myself everyday, does that make me a complex individual...or is it like everyone, including abgology said before...
you think too much define think too much...i'd like to know the meaning...bcos if one does not think, then one might as well not be alive...i sometimes think that well, my problem is that i have many many conflicting ideas...i am able to sit, and debate with myself for an entire day...does that make me complex? i don't know...
well, enough of my rambling abt myself...boring
saw the news yesterday abt the russian sch...was sad...affected me in a way...the way they depicted everything...well, it was sad...esp when there was a grandfather of a student, standing before the rubble, leaning on his walking stick...he looked forlorn as he stood there...slowly, he turned, and walked away....the tears he wiped away really struck me...my goodness, what if something like that ever happened to anyone i knew...or if i was one of the victims, how and what would i feel during the last few moments...would i be too scared, or would i be thinking of those at home? whatever, i do know that i am sad over that issue...
naive...not really random word of the day...thinking abt that...
random word of the day : motion
why?
9/06/2004 07:00:00 ap.