I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
maanantaina, syyskuuta 13, 2004
school
tired. have a splitting head ache. stomach cramps. not feeling any better from yesterday. thats where my war poem came from. sigh
veli : well, i'm sorry i didn't tell you earlier? you know me well enough by now to know that i do not like bothering you with my problems. yes, something is bothering me. perhaps, when i'm ready to tell you? i will, sometime soon, but not just yet. thank you loadies for the concern.
today. practical. like that, i guess. no way of explaining further. did some revision. drowning. drowning. drowning. don't bother abt me
this reminds me of my essay on control. hah. it was an abstract idea. so much so that so many ppl did not understand what i was trying to say. well, based on your ss skills today, i suggest you ppl re read the essay. skills on purpose in particular. reading between the lines. what you see is not what i mean. what i say, is what i mean. but that depends on what you think i'm saying. try looking for what i mean instead of accepting it just like that.
what can i do? i don't know. i honestly don't. i'm just overcome with anger right now. i'm not even thinking straight. thank goodness
they are not in my school. i'd quit school if they were.
get away from me. leave me alone. i wish to have nothing to do with you. you are a nuisance and nothing more. you hinder me. just go. i don't even want to hear you say goodbye. i don't want you to glance at my face one last time. just turn around and leave me. alone. thats what i need. to be far away, from everything, from everyone.
9/13/2004 02:20:00 ip.