I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
lauantaina, elokuuta 07, 2004
sigh
went to sch this morning for extra lessons...ended up crapping alot...then shifted my stuff down to 4/1 and went to look in on my dearies...tear my hair out liao...was playing fer awhile...screamed like a banshee and ran round the school...hehe...then watched the cuties frm whitesands pri do their work...later went fer band and was so disheartened that i went and did a mass-cleaning of the councillors' room...sigh sigh...my band is a mess...a huge mess...no respect for each other...no cooperation...they think its a game...reminds me of my collapsing council...i've given up on the council already...i think i rather concentrate on re-building the band...they are my babies...not the council...
so well...watched part of the pds...it looked gd to me...despise the fact that some ppl laughed on national day at the poor girl who made a mistake...oh well...mistakes happen...i remember official opening there were some mistakes...but no one laughed...at least our batch then was not a grp of spastic monkeys...i miss my seniors...we did things well together...now everything seems a mess...so well...pds...i watched with huda...somehow i nv get tired of watching...reason being is that i have this wonder at how they do it...me and sally should know...we found one of their rifles on the cd shelter that time and tried it out...only to have sally nearly sprain himself...ahakz....that was cute...so yea...i have loads of respect fer them...rock on ppl!
mass-cleaning of council room was fun
went home and slept...i think my mother is sick...i better not be sick soon...i got my o level oral to tackle come wed...
woke up...been online ever since...i feel lonely...i miss...oh well...can't really say that anymore...
i want...
i cant say that either...
i'm sinking back into that hole...just aft i got out...how much does that suck?
so yea...being "funny" is back in my dictionary...
groping in the dark
i saw a light
that guided me to a nice place
but nothing but a will-o-wisp it was
for this place is not for me
a false hope it was
and now i'm sinking
heart aflame once more
hurting i bleed
look in the mirror
and see nothing but the darkness arnd me
the cold's freezing my heart once more
beyond hope
i'm slipping away
down below
i'm sinking, sinking
swallowing mouthfuls of water
as i go down
hear me cry
8/07/2004 12:50:00 ip.