I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
torstaina, elokuuta 19, 2004
burning
today was our mock exam for Bio...it went well i think...considering the amount of time i spent with oke studying for it...i think i've discovered the virtues of studying beforehand and not the night before...it does help...alot
what can i say about school? another long day...the weather was not too good...and i didn't feel that great either...some disappointment over something as well...*sighs*...i don't think i shall mention it...
nm was very hyper today...we had a kind of sing-along session in the IT resource room during mother tongue...today we had no ss...which meant there was no anger today...mdm kamisah did seem a tad bit cranky for some extraordinary reason...it affected my mood in a sense...i have no idea why...it seems the people around me influence the way i feel...
i have gotten down to studying finally...i think this is the last part...i can feel the tension...the pressure starting to mount...ES actually asked me howcome the sky didn't collapse when i told her i had already studied for bio...speaks volumes of me...seriously, i have never really studied in my entire life...i'm starting to enjoy studying with ke...and i enjoyed studying with eric kor for mye...english and humanities that is...to ke, thank you for letting me study with you...its truly been a joy...at least i don't feel it is such a problem anymore...
has anyone any idea who JC is? JC if you do know me, pls tell me personally somehow...i'm tired of guessing...
the wait for you mon cher frere for that connection...thank you for ending it...i loved that smile which you flashed me today...it was comforting after the rotten things i've faced...at least, it amused me a while...no matter how short the duration was...
i have nothing more to say really...just wish my oven is repaired...i want to try out that semolina cake with lemon syrup recipe...its is nice, my mother tried it before...i want to have a go myself...to the basis : i'm afraid the korean delicacy has to wait...been abit busy recently...but when i do get down to it, i'll let you know...
worrisome...things are getting that way...i'm fretting more...about the littlest things...sigh
i still feel rotten...tired...worn out...i don't feel like pushing anymore...like i said, the pressure...i don't want to face it...i want a break from it all...i have to drag myself to school each day...i feel too exhausted to even get up from bed...and i even sleep early...
mon cher frere...maybe this is asking too much...but i do need that help to clear everything in this messed up head of mine...it seems...that i can't ask the rest...they are too preoccupied and i do not want to bother them...please help me...especially with studying for my music prelims next week...i have a whole pile of notes to memorize...wonder how i shall plough through it all...
drained
8/19/2004 02:48:00 ip.