I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
sunnuntai, heinäkuuta 25, 2004
ouch
*ouch* stupid memories...i still remember every single word...the catch phrases...everything that i'm not supposed to remember...perhaps if i go, it'll be simpler to do so...
sigh...it still hurts...gosh, tml is the day...that day...one full year passed aft that incident...and tml, is the day...last year, didn't think abt what might happen on that day...its scary to think abt it...and now i got that same feeling in the pit of my stomach...i wonder what it will be like for us...that name we called it...its stuck in my head hilarious...i wish tml was over...
i wish tml was over bcos it means i have to go for eng enrichment...why...i wanna go home...and sleep...or something...anything but be in school...
i wish tml was over bcos it means one day closer to my peace...my blessed peace
i feel used...its true that no one gives a damn anymore...i wonder why i bother...i wonder why do i care to go out of my way to bother anymore...and the person that i can bother abt and be sure that he gives a damn is hardly by my side...i cant take the miles anymore...argh
i dun see any pt in doing anything anymore...just get the stupid o's over and done with...go away...be alone...do anything but remember the ppl i bother remembering now...and not remember a thing abt anyone of them...
this hurts...i feel like i want to cry badly...like i want to do whatever i did all over again...to do what i need to...even today's major clean up did not help...sleep did not help...i can't resist the idea...i can't resist the thoughts...no, i just can't resist...
does anyone give a fing damn?
7/25/2004 11:37:00 ap.