I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
sunnuntai, heinäkuuta 18, 2004
celebrations excluding me
went out to aunty faridah's house today...celebrations for aunty faridah's and aunty kamsinah's bdaes...
well...celebrations were typical...joyful, i guess...i dunno...too much has been on my mind lately...like i said...i'm pissed...
acherlie eric kor asked me if i was free today...and someone else asked too...but sorry i couldn't accompany either of you...
last night...well was a very very very sleepless one for me...didnt get any sleep until late...bcos of what someone said...my gdness what a question to ask...that question...oh gdness me...really knocked me off my feet...didn't know what to say, but ask the reason...and even that wasn't given to me...i just want to clarify this asap...sigh...there'll be more sleepless nites for me if i don't...argh...really, why me...why of all ppl, me
i had a terrifying nightmare that day...i dreamt i was in sch with eric kor...at the canteen...then
A walked up to me...gdness...looked at me and kor one kind...so then he smiles...*shiver*...and he told me...
i read your blog...i got a rude shock...him :
i read abt this person named A, is he me? and i heard something frm D...why are you afraid?...shock again...so i made this lame excuse that A was not him...he pulls me aside my the arm and looks me fiercely in the eye...
i need to talk to you, we'll see each other after school...and walks away...i woke up in tears...a bad dream...a really bad one...
i wonder if that person did what he said he would...poor thing...
you.don't.give.a.damn.why.did.i.even.bother.to.apologize.
7/18/2004 02:54:00 ip.