I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
tiistaina, kesäkuuta 15, 2004
s h h
another oxymoron discovered...flickering consistence...its hurting badly now...inside...i guess, there is really nothing that i can do abt it this time...it doesn't matter in this case, bcos it involves my departure...but i'm worried...i guess thats what's been bothering me...i mean, this was the first ans i got : NO...just like that...i asked to think it over, and no ans again, which prolly means that the first ans stil stands...this complicates things more i guess...it just causes more hurt and grief when it happens...not to me, but to abang...so yea, thats what i'm worried abt, him...how now...i can only go ahead and do what i have to...but it will, undoubtably, affect abang as well...and its that consequence that really unclear to me right now...i wonder whether it will be impactful, or no...or will it just be something that passes...i honestly dunno...what can i do, but worry abt it at this point?
some new stuff...ok the camp left me with a huge bite on my leg which has stopped itching at this pt...was ok, i guess...i came home early and did not sleep well bcos of my back pains...so i was up blog hopping at arnd three...in my smoky clothes...then i spent the next few days recuperating...house work and stuff...just depressed, not in the mood to think abt my doings...
had a chat with veli...i apologize for being sorry company...but i hope you get my meaning...i shall post another entry for you soon there so you get further what i mean...it seems you take me lightly on this one, and i'm glad you do...at least, i can rest assured that i hurt one and not both...thank you for that...love you loads...
6/15/2004 10:41:00 ap.