I have failed countless times to update this blog, and I have a feeling no one really reads anymore. However, since this was where I started writing it always feels most comforting to return to write short bit about my life here
I was browsing today this article where a number of individuals had submitted pictures or scans of their teenage diaries. I have hardly graduated out of teenhood myself; once a very interesting character told me that you don't truly stop being a teen until you've passed 25 years of age. Sometimes not even then. Yet I can't help but look at (the now hidden) entries that used to chronicle my life in secondary school and then in junior college. I was a very different person then, and yet, not so.
As I write this now, I am waiting for myself to fall asleep, for the memories in my head to die down so I may just tumble into a nice dreamless sleep.
Yet sleep evades me, as it naturally does when you need to wake mere hours later for the most important task of school. It feels so new all over again, because people just come and go and come back again.
But enough of my rambling, I should really try to at least close my eyes and lay down, and hope that eventually sleep will take me.
To all those people who left my life, I miss you. You know who you are
<3 M
marlz. daughter. sister. friend. cousin. girl. 1988. born to die.
perjantaina, toukokuuta 14, 2004
...tired...
got my ATM card today...but conditions are so stringent that well...i don't see a pt in owning one...except that i can draw cash for my pocket money when i need to...and that i get interest instead of letting the coins rust in my coin box...got a wallet also, aft at least a year of not owning one...billabong...interesting...
oh well...i feel sorta upset...bcos something's up with abangism...yea, something's wrong and he aint telling me...notti notti abang...you are supposed to tell me when something's up...but well...adik won't disturb you...i suppose you need your own space when you are down...like me...and so i don't mind you not telling bcos well...i know how it feels...just pray you cheer up soon and feel a-okay...here's a kiss *muakz* to cheer you up...no "ees" abt it ya...God bless...
besides feeling down bcos of my lovely sibling...feeling down bcos of something else...shall not say...am too fed up to elaborate further...
i feel alone...very alone...wish to cry...shall go and do that in my room right now...tears already spilling...hoping that mum don't see them...stupidstupidstupid me...
where is the smile i used to see in your eyes? the very one that showed me that your heart was at home...which told me that you care...the cheery smile i heard in your voice...i wish that smile would return...
5/14/2004 09:59:00 ap.